JW Topics w/ Mom and Her Husband

by OnTheWayOut 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I was at my JW mother's home this weekend. She does her best to keep away from the JW subject with me, I assume that is so she never has to feel the need to shun me. Well, it works for me.

    So she is on the phone with her JW friends and her non-Jw husband straight up asks me what he has not asked me in all these years that I have been faded. "Why is it that you have nothing to do with the Witnesses anymore? You were so involved."

    I have avoided saying things to him for years because of my mother. I always felt that I could convince him in 10 minutes that it's a cult and then he would "persecute" my mother about it, but she would see it as "the machinations of the devil."

    But it's been so long into my fade and he seems more resolved to just let it be with his JW wife, very similar to the way I have had to let it be with mine. Still, I don't want to just say how "it's a cult" because that might be too direct and might still cause him to want to start pushing my mother to drop the Witnesses.

    Instead, I tell him how I have discovered they are no better than other religions. The ones with status use their status to benefit themselves. In the brief time, I gave him 2 examples from my observations.
    1. I was at Hurricane Hugo and Hurricane Andrew relief in the early 90's. People came and volunteered, they sent food and tools and all kinds of stuff. But by the time Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans in 2005, Watchtower had fully figured out how to profit from disaster. The letters started coming out saying "Just send money." Money did indeed get sent. But members in the United States drove down to the disaster area to help out and brought their canned goods and clothing and hammers and chain saws. More letters went out actually chastising the well-meaning efforts and asking that the members work only with Watch Tower's control so that the very best coordinated relief could take place.

    Watchtower insisted that members be "approved" by their RBC before going to the disaster area. They said they were particularly looking for plumbers, electricians, and carpenters. They insisted, once again, that the donation of goods ceased and that only money was needed. A call went out for volunteers who could give a week of their time to the relief effort during the winter of early 2006 to continue rebuilding homes and repairing Kingdom Halls and such. I contacted the RBC to get approval.

    Seeing as I was an elder and had experience with two relief efforts in the past, I was approved and given a date in February to report. I would be riding their bus to New Orleans and it all seemed very coordinated. I put in for vacation from work. A few days before the date came up, the RBC chairman phoned me. He said that there wasn't enough room on the bus for me. He told me that they still had a huge need for plumbers and electricians and carpenters, and that willing laborers without those skills were being left behind. I told him that I could follow the bus in my own vehicle and could carry three other people and supplies or that I could simply report there on my own. The RBC chairman said there would be no place for me to sleep. I told him that I knew a family in New Orleans and could stay at their home, or I could do as we did in the Hurricane Hugo and Andrew relief efforts- simply roll out a sleeping bag and sleep on the floor of the Kingdom Hall. The RBC chairman said it simply was not allowed. The effort was supposed to be organized this way for specific reasons, although I heard none of those reasons. He asked me if I could reschedule for another week. I told him I could not change my vacation, especially this late.

    A couple of weeks passed by and this same RBC chairman's wife phoned me. She was still looking for volunteers for another trip. I told her that I had already informed them I wasn't available. She understood then told me what a shame it was that I couldn't make the trip in early February. She told me how she went with her husband on that bus and a few other wives of other RBC workers went also. She told me how their two children went with them on that bus. She said they had a great time meeting people and serving food to the workers and how they stopped work on the last day to have a huge picnic. She described a family vacation to me.

    I was dumbfounded. I asked if her children were plumbers or electricians. She laughed and said they were just little kids. I was bumped off the bus to make room for skilled tradesmen despite the fact that I had experience and a strong back. I wasn't planning on going to have a great time or meet people, but to work. There was no wasted day of picnic at the relief efforts I attended. That's what I did at the other disaster relief efforts. I was bumped but wives and children of "connected" RBC people were not bumped. They had a huge picnic on the last day (of only seven) instead of spending another day breaking their backs accomplishing some good. This destroyed an illusion in my mind. I fully realized that Watchtower was not the place for well-meaning people to fully help others out in times of need. It was a place where well-meaning people could be taken advantage of.

    2. I told him of the training elders received to excuse many of the minor sins of fellow elders and keep it quiet, While those sins may seem "minor," they never let it go when a non-elder confesses to the same.

    We stopped talking about it as my mother came back. I don't think he will lash out at my mother's religion based on our conversation.

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    My wife arrived and my mother was all anxious to tell her about a recent "preaching" experience. Apparently, the local congregation members (not the congregation itself, but those who manned the tables) paid $250 to have a table at a Senior Citizen Expo at the local mall. She had pictures of them sharing the literature. They had just over 250 "placements" of sorts and started 4 studies.

    Just a quick calculation- seniors with time on their hands. Just 4 studies started and they got the privilege to pay for the whole thing.

    Still, it looked like "EASY TIME."

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    Anyway, wanted to share my day.

  • Still Totally ADD
    Still Totally ADD

    OnTheWayOut didn't the WT ask for the homeowners insurance money they would receive? So they got money from the friends and money from the victims insurance companies. I am not totally sure this happen but I heard it did. Good come back to your mom's house and. Still Totally ADD

  • MissFit
    MissFit

    Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it is a balancing act. I think it was thoughtful of you to consider your mom's situation as you answered.

  • joe134cd
  • under the radar
    under the radar

    I know for a fact that the RBC "brothers" were supposed to inquire if the homeowners they helped had insurance, and if they did, they were ask them to donate the insurance payment to the "world-wide work" so they could "help others who don't have insurance." Of course, the donations were not to be ear-marked for relief work. They were supposed to go into the Society's general funds to be used as the Society saw fit. Absolutely no accountability.

    I know this because my brother-in-law was a long time elder and RBC overseer and he confirmed this in a private conversation. When I raised my eyebrows in surprise that it really was true, he just resignedly shrugged his shoulders. He did add that they would go ahead and do the work even if the homeowner said they couldn't agree to sign over their insurance money. Mighty big of 'em, I say...

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Still Totally ADD,
    I am sure you are correct about insurance money. I wasn't trying too hard to get my mother's husband to realize I had done research, just wanted to share personal experiences.

    MissFit,
    Thanks. My mother would probably not shun me if push came to shove over my own decisions about Watchtower, but if she felt persecuted because of what I said to her husband, she might surely say Satan's machinations are in play.

    joe134cd,
    Same answer I gave above to Still Totally ADD. Might be too much for him to leave it alone. He's already been a study and gone to the Kingdom Hall and doesn't do that now, but wants his wife to be happy. Still, I think that could quickly change if more info. were available.

    under the radar,
    Thanks for the information. Maybe your brother-in-law took his wife and kids on the bus from his area.

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