by Englishman 7 Replies latest jw friends
If you're a disfellowshipped JW, and you find yourself in conversation with a JW who is unaware of your status, should you tell him/her that you are DF'd?
I say NO WAY!
To admit to being DF'd simply enables the other person in continuing along with their mistaken and unscriptural beliefs, rather like you going out and buying a bottle of whisky for an alcoholic.
DF'ing is their problem - don't make it yours!
Englishman.
I nevr shy away from anyone, inf act I usually go up and talk to people I see :P I'm not df'd yet but some people treat me as if I am. I was doing a little part time serving at a restaurant a few months ago and I got a JW couple from my old hall at one of my tables. Oh my god that was fun :) Ever see someone try to order without looking at you? Mumbled thank you's? Furtive glances around the restaurant. Oh god, it made my night. :)
Why is it that DF'd people feel the need to tell you??? I've never understood that. They are so scared and nervous that you are talking to them and they seem to always hang their heads down and whisper "you know I'm disfellowshipped". I always say "yes" and then continue right on talking to them.
They're freaking humans!!
. o O (slipnslidemaster)
I'm not df'd or da'd, just faded. Yet already I cannot think of a reason why I would wish to talk to a JW (except my wife and family, of course). Most of them just parrot the same tired garbage like a scratched record. I'd rather shun them once I find out who they are!
But I'd agree that there is absolutely no reason why you should inform a JW that you are df'd. The only power the WT and it's followers have over us is what we give them, so why give it to 'em?
Expatbrit
Well, I deliberately planned and enginnered my exit so I wasn't DF'd.
I felt it would make life easier with my family and ex-wife and kids if I was a 'walk-away'.
Side point; expatbrit, to what degree of seriousness do you use the term 'faded' with? I used to say 'fallen-away' until I realised I didn't fall, I walked. For me, overcoming loaded language was important. Ame doesn't neccesarily apply to you, but maybe 'quenched' is better than 'faded'! 8-)
As I was saying, I walked away, and when I was eventually spoken to by elders when I admitted adultery after about eighteen years out, I managed to be 'repentant', at the same time as saying I didn't 'feel ready to go back to the meetings'. They huffed and puffed about DF'ing, but I pointed out a Watchtower that said if you were inactive for six months you weren't really a Witness any longer.
Believe it or not, it worked, although if I'd been dealing with three elders with a combined IQ of over 100 I might not have got away with it.
Putting myself in your situation; well, what business is it of theirs too look down their nose at you through cult-blinded eyes.
They might be really nice people in some ways, but prod the right button and you get the attack of the cult zombie, and Borg freak at DF'd people, even if they are on another level a nice person.
By not telling, you can get past the programming. Say someone sat next to you on an airplane is a dub. Tell them when you get off, if at all, so they have the fact that they sat next to a DF'd person without the demons eating their eyes, and enjoyed their company, and though what a nice person they were, eat through their cognitive dissonance filter. Alternately play the 'studied a while' person, and plant tickyticky mind bombs all over their head with an innocent smile.
They bastards must know I'm a deceitful bastard, as I never get a chance to do anything; one call in seven years, and I didn't have time to talk as I had a girl in bed!
I do think under circumstances, there are good reasons to talk to them; maybe just one sentence from you will be all they need to start to get out.
Tickyticky time bombs - we all had one go off in our heads, even if the fuse was very long.
So let's be little firestarters!!
Abaddon:
I tend to avoid seriousness, it's bad for the mental health.
Seriously, though, the term "faded" is simply one I picked up from the damned apostates. It describes well the process of disappearing quietly, albeit from the WT's viewpoint. Looked at the other way, I suppose the term could be "clarified" or "focused", since that's what our minds become when out of the dulling influence of the WT blah.
Expatbrit
Could it be? A loophole?
Abaddon you said
They huffed and puffed about DF'ing, but I pointed out a Watchtower that said if you were inactive for six months you weren't really a Witness any longer.
Would you be so kind as to mention which WT this is in? Thank you!
Michelle
The most deadly of all sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit. -Erik H. Erikson
Just pasted this from H20:
"I don't allow my children to associate with anyone who practices shunning". Go figure.
Simply brilliant.
Englishman.
