Glad I am no longer a jw parent.

pamkw

Hi everyone,

I have been thinking lately how differently I raise my kids now as compared to when I was a jw.
My oldest son had the bad luck to have a mom who was trying to be the perfect jw single mom. I
was really mean to him at times. And when I wasn't I had elders telling me to beat his butt. But
Brandon was a quiet kid, who like to draw during the meetings, so he really was no problem.

My 9 year old son Blake is ADHD and ODD. Which means he can not sit still or be quiet ever. And he
part of his problem is he likes to annoy people. If I were still a jw, his life would be hell. I would
probably be in jail for child abuse. Because most jws think the only way to train your children is
to beat them. And with a child like him spankings have no effect.

Brandon sometimes gets angry because I do not treat Blake the same way I did him. I tell him that
I didn't know any better then, but I am alot smarter now.

Looking back, I see that there is never any leeway for kids with speical needs in the congregations.
They all had to be quiet and sit still, with no colorbooks or toys to help them. That is hard even for
so called 'normal' kids. For kids like Blake it must be a nightmare. The one good thing, is when my
boys are visiting grandma, she no longer tries to take Blake to the meetings. When ever she did,
they left early because she couldn't handle him.

Having a child like Blake gives me lots of stress, but I would have had even more if I were still jw.

Pam

Fredhall

Pam,

So, does this mean that you are going to be a hell raiser?

tergiversator

Hi Pam,

Don't know much about it from the parental end of things, but as a kid... I can remember how tough it was to sit through meetings at first (I was 4 and my brother was 8). And I was the sort of kid who liked sitting quietly by myself reading for long periods of time. It must be much, much worse for people like your youngest son.

Heh. Some sister once made the comment to my mom that her kids whent from being "two of the worst kids in the hall to two of the best", by which she of course meant that we were well behaved and quiet. Guess we're back on the "worst" list again (I'm da'd and he's very inactive).

Anyhow, nice to meet you.

-T.

jezebel influence

Hi Pam
nice meeting you!

I can sympathise,have you taken your children to a bookstudy?
I think its even worse because they think they are visiting!

When I was re-attending meetings a couple of years back,I took jasmine (2 at time) along.
During the prayr(sp?)she called out 'kitty kitty'while looking out the window.
Then she took of and a nice young Bro put her on his knee,which she sat on happily, only to be noticed(smelt) that she had pooped her nappy on his knee!
She didnt sit the whole time.

The wife of the bkstudy conductor looked down her nose at me and
It was so stressful that i never went back to bkstudy.

What was I meant to do?
Take her out back for smacks when she couldnt understand why?

O ..also last time I went to a district assembly I saw a sister who kept smacking her under 1yr olds bottom for wanting to stand on her lap!

Really made me think!!

With regs smacking in kinghall-Your dambed if you do and your dambed if you dont!!

jurs

Hi Pam
Your right there is no leeway for children who have a hard time sitting still. It always bothered me when certain parents in my hall would take their children back to the bathroom because they weren't sitting still. A spanking for wiggling after an hour????Thats along time, what did they expect? Its frowned upon to bring toys or books that aren't bible stories and your suppose to wake up your child if they fall asleep. I regret the day a pioneer came to my door. Thank Jehovah i never had a sucessful bible study!!!! Bye JURS

Jang

Boy Pam, can I relate!!!!!

My youngest one is ADD, and we had lots of 'discussions' during and after meetings about his
behaviour. The older two were good and could sit quietly and do their own thing for hours.

I always promised myself that I would not hit my children like I was hit as a child, but when the
elder followed me out ofthe hall with my son one day and explained to me how I had to
'discipline' him to make sure he survived Armageddon, and handed me his belt to use on my son, I
used it. Today it still brings tears to my eyes to think of it.

JanG

crossroads

Yes, the little tikes learn all to early about witness LOVE.
Thats why later on they are so numb.
Sad thing like Pam many mom's[my sister is one]
still beat there heads against the wall for obeying
the idiots.

As for are resident idiot if you were ever lucky enough
to have a"hell raiser" you'd realise that you raise each
other or you both lose-info just in case you should ever
be so blessed

myMichelle

Its frowned upon to bring toys or books that aren't bible stories and your suppose to wake up your child if they fall asleep.

Then I bet that the people at the KH my husband attends are glad that I don't go with our kids any more. (I did for a while, during the time I was checking his religion out.) I brought snacks for our kids (toddlers at the time), a blanket for them to nap on at my feet, paper and pens to doodle with and small, quiet toys. The same stuff I packed when I took them to church, I only had a couple comments. I have a hard time sitting half an hour without squirming, it's not rational to expect a toddler to sit attentively for 2 hours.

I'm thankful every day that my kids will not be raised in that environment.

Michelle

The most deadly of all sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit. -Erik H. Erikson

Glad I am no longer a jw parent.

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