Helpful Tips For Everyday Life
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Helpful Hint #1
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
while you chop away
Helpful Hint #2
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an
ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas
inside it before you put it on.
Helpful Hint #3
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish
bowl makes the fishes'eyes bulge and cause them to swim
in an amusing manner.
Helpful Hint #4
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry
wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
Helpful Hint #5
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the
toilet seat by simply wizzing in the sink.
Helpful Hint #6
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins.
Helpful Hint 7
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm
clock, will prevent you from rolling over and
going back to sleep
The following is a list of actual names of books that didnt make it
Wonder why?
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"Little Golden Books That Never Made It"
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1. You Are Different And That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
5. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
6. All Cats Go To Hell
7. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
8. Some Kittens Can Fly
9. That's It, I'm Putting You Up For Adoption
10. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
11. Strangers Have The Best Candy
12. You Were an Accident
13. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
14. Pop! Goes the Hamster... And Other Microwave Games
15. The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
16. Your Nightmares Are Real
17. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
18. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry 19. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
brummie
