Are DF'd ones in your congregation friendly with you?

by JH 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  JH

  When I was an active JW, everyone talked to me. When some were DF'd, they avoided me, not to be shunned. Now that I'm OUT of the org, "inactive since so many years", whenever I meet DF'd people, they won't talk to me much. Even if I tell them that I am no longer a JW, they don't seem to want to be friends.

  Unlike here on the forum, we are united because of our past JW experience. I just found it odd that the same bond wouldn't happen with DF'd ones in my congregation.

  I think that when they see me, they automatically think "JW", even though I'm like them now.

  Do XJW of your congregation want to be friends with you or do they act as if they never knew you?
• 

  searchfothetruth

  Everytime i'e met an ex-Jw they have been quite positive.

  The ones that leave for disiplinarary reasons usually still believe in the org. so are less likely to talk to someone that they feel is an apostate.

  But the ones that have left because they don't believe it is the truth are usually more than willing to talk.

  Still, I can't say I am friends with anyone that I used to go to meetings with who has left...but that's probably just because It's me!
• 

  gitasatsangha

  I'm DA'd. Been moved out of town where I went to the hall for years, so I doubt I'll run into other folks I used to know who were DF'd or DA'd, unless its on this board.
• 

  gitasatsangha

  I'm DA'd. Been moved out of town where I went to the hall for years, so I doubt I'll run into other folks I used to know who were DF'd or DA'd, unless its on this board.
• 

  breal

  Prior to being DF'd when I was at a really low point emotionally & spiritually I kept having flowers delivered with a happy face on the card. Nothing else. The florist stated that the sender wanted to be anonymous. Being young and somewhat of a romantic at that age I believed I had a secret admirer of one of the young brothers. Months pass and a brother in our hall was reinstated and after chatting with him again he mentioned that he was the one sending the flowers as he noticed how different I was being or acting and wanted to encourage me. I don't think I ever really thanked him properly or told him really how wonderful those roses and the card made me feel. How ironic that none of the other brothers or sisters that saw me all the time noticed nothing and yet this one DF'd person was so sweet. I have not been in the position to be around any other DF'd (other than SPAZ now) but that really opened up my eyes to the fact that people are just people no matter if they are in the "truth" or not.
• 

  RAYZORBLADE

  Hi JH, what I remember from way, way back was, even after I was supposedly removed, I would not talk to DF'd people.

  I somehow felt, that if I did, it may make my return to the organization, much more difficult.

  I was no longer a Jehovah's Witness, but the conditioning...that was still fresh in my mind. What a trip that was.

  Glad that's over with, but I can understand why even some DF'd people will not talk to other DF'd/DA'd people. It's the mental conditioning that still remains, for some, many years after the fact.
• 

  garybuss

  
  Hi JH, Many of the most rigid, strongest believing JW's I have ever met were walkaways or castaways. They tend to be better JWs in rejection than in acceptance. The strongest condemnation, the most vicious attacks on me have all come from believing walkaways or castaways.
  
  I am in contact with scores of JW's now in various status situations and all are friendly and I appreciate my contact with them all. Mostly they are like me and they just want to recover and help others.
  
  Of the 350 or so active Witnesses here, I have personally heard from over 40 of them. That is huge. There is a huge stealth skepticism and undertow in the group.