When Do Worldly Friends Begin to Get Shunned?

Funchback

When I first started to study with the Dubs, I was about 8 years old. My mom became a JW but she was very lax with the rules. She never made me "give up" my non-JW friends (perhaps because my dad never became a Dub).

However, don't most JW parents (even the more strict ones) allow their young children to play with non-JW children at school and in the neighborhood? In my experience, even my JW peers had just "friends". They didn't call them worldly and they didn't call them Christian. They were simply called "friends".

But it seems that these friends were only temporary. As one got older (teens), the rules got more strict. Suddenly, you weren't allowed to have friends who were "worldly". If you called someone your friend who WASN'T a JW, then you would receive looks of disapproval from your JW comtemporaries. Besides, those of us who began to put our faith into practice would cut-off those worldly friends anyway. Certainly, we didn't want to be an "enemy of God" just to be "friends of the world". So, we just associated with fellow Dubs.

So, again. my question is: When do worldly friends become worldly? When do we stop viewing them as friends and start viewing them as bad association? My mind began to ponder this after I read the following article:

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http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/144/oped/Shanae_Anderson+.shtml

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Shanae Anderson

By 0, 5/24/2003

The Harbor School
Teacher: Karen Engles
THE MOST courageous thing I have ever done would have to be when I was in the fifth grade. A bunch of my friends came to sit next to me at lunch and started talking about religion. At that moment my heart started gushing, I started sweating and fidgeting because I knew that I was the only Jehovah's Witness in my whole class.

To tell them that would be like waiting for a pit bull to jump over the fence and bite me. I wasn't about to let that happen. So, as I was about to leave, my friend Roni asked, ''What religion are you, Shanae?'' I couldn't lie, so I simply said I don't feel comfortable talking about that and left.

That night, I thought about what my friends would have thought about my religion, and if they were going to find out. I talked to my mom about what happened. She said, ''Girl, what's the matter with you? You should be proud to say that you are a Jehovah's Witness.''

I dug deep into my soul to find the right answer. I didn't know whether to tell my friends the truth or leave them wondering. That night I found my answer. I was going to preach what I believe in.

The next day at lunch I sat with my friends. Out of the blue I said, ''Listen, I'm a Jehovah's Witness and that's what I believe in.'' For a moment it got silent. So silent that you could hear the thinnest piece of paper fall on the floor as if 20 eighth-graders came stampeding down the steps. Then everybody began talking again. After everyone was told to line up, my friend Sharon told me she has a cousin who is a Jehovah's Witness. That's the day I could say, ''Hey, I got courage!''

This story ran on page A101 of the Boston Globe on 5/24/2003.

nilfun

Q. When Do Worldly Friends Begin to Get Shunned?

A. When the pain of getting a whipping from Mom for the crime of playing with them was too much to deal with. I couldn't handle getting dragged by the hair (in front of kids and the occasional adult) back home for a beating anymore, so I left off playing with "worldy" kids. It was safer for me to just leave them alone. This lesson was taught to me at an early age, waaaay before I ever hit my teens.

caligirl

Mine never did. True, I did not have spare time to spend with them outside of school, but to this day I remain closer to the friends that I made in school than I ever was to people in the congregation. They are the ones I have lunch with when I travel back to where I grew up. To this day I could call up one of these friends, even if I have not seen them in years, and know that they are there for me no matter what. What a contrast to the alleged "friends" in the hall who offered conditional "friendship" and are nowhere to be found if you don't follow the rules.

shamus

It teaches children that you are above those children, although in play time religion has little to do with anything. When you get older, you raise your self-rightcheous head, say, "I'm done with you... get away from me Satan..." and go into your self-rightcheous life, like nothing happened. Therefore, people are taught how to use people for their own good, and to throw friendship away at the whim of their conscience. YEEEAAAH!

REAL CHRISTIAN, EH? USE AND ABUSE. THAT'S THE WAY IT IS IN THE SOCIETY, that's why people are such absolute pricks! That is why most JW's are completely without social skills of any reasonable sort, and are so rude / ignorant to each other.

They are just taught to be jerks from day one. They are pharisees.

Nosferatu

I preferred my worldly friends over JW "friends". I thought the worldly people were always more down to earth. JWs my age were incredibly fake and boring. I had nothing in common with them. They were into playing video games, listening to the Barenaked Ladies, while I was into fun conversation, and listening to Led Zeppelin. The only one I got along with has since dumped out, and we're hanging out again :)

There was one particular JW my age that I couldn't stand. He had this stupid hairstyle that looked like a handheld fan, and always gave the wink & gun, and made that "click" sound. Arrrrghh!!

freedom96

My only association with my "worldly friends" was at school or work.

Now, all my friends are worldly.

And I wouldn't trade them for anything.

SheilaM

My husband could play with his wordly friend but he wasn't allowed in the house. Isn't that sad. Thunders Mother also use to taunt him about being catholicYes she is a witch

I always let my kids play with their friends, when anyone at the hall said anything I would say "who in heck do you want them to play with?" They sure weren't inviting them over. I am glad I did Melanie and Anthony have true friends they grew up with. Those kids put up with the no holiday crap and still like my kids now that is cool

Funchback

Great replies, all of you!

Excellent point, shamus:

"I'm done with you... get away from me Satan..." and go into your self-rightcheous life, like nothing happened. Therefore, people are taught how to use people for their own good, and to throw friendship away at the whim of their conscience.

When Do Worldly Friends Begin to Get Shunned?

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