A few thoughts from where I sit:
Something I find humorous, is when I disagree with someone, family or otherwise, and they start talking to me LOUDER. As if raising their voice will get their message across better. Totally irrational. I imagine I know how foreigners feel when people raise their voice to speak to them in an unknown language, without first pausing and stepping outside of themselves just long enough to figuring out the needs of their audience.
Interesting how differently we each react to the family conflicts stirred up by religious differences. Or perhaps it's different phases we each go through. For some, when the witnesses ask us to come back it's...."oh, those self-righteous imbicils" and when they don't it's "oh, those unfeeling shunners". For others its simply, "well, thanks for your concern" or "thankfully, they don't bother me about it".
I'm beginning to wonder, based on my own experiences and observations of others, if the problem is more about communication and respect (or lack thereof) within the family unit, than much ado about religion.
Without getting into a which came first, the chicken or the egg discussion, of course, the jw religion has played a major role in many a jw family breakdown. In some families though, it seems like if the communication breakdown weren't about religion, it'd be about something. Sometimes, it seems to me anyway, the more you really care about a person, and they you, the more challenging it can be to communicate with each other on a point of conflict. Or perhaps to agree to disagree. I've seen some "divided households" with major respect and love for each other, and others without. The only significant difference I can see is in communication skills/styles.
Personally, I feel for ya. I'm of the, uh, "grateful dead klass". The more my dysfunctional family leaves me be, the happier I iz. I love them. But I guess I'd rather be shunned to death than nagged to death. That's the stage I'm at right now anyway. Plus I'm a bit of a chicken shit when it comes to disagreements (with a few of my family members inparticular...they've trained me pretty well not to *dare* disagree with them....and I've let them get away with treating me like that.) I'm slowly learning (trial and error) how & when to communicate (or not communicate) about my personal opinions on things, regardless of the topic, with those annoying loved ones (jw's or otherwise) that do not respect others enough to allow them to disagree.
I wish you the best in communicating with your own fam damily, as annoying as they get, through your personal situation. Perhaps a couple of good books on Conflict Resolution/Negotiations might assist you in sticking up fo' yo' self. One is called "Getting To Yes - Negotiating Conflict Without Giving In". Another one is called "Getting Past No".
SPAZ
