Recently I saw the Two Towers for the third time. A line from the movie really struck me this time around. It's spoken by Arwen in talking to her father about the future of their world. Things seem like they are coming to an end, they seem hopeless and yet she says "There is still hope". That simple statement is my new outlook on life.
Our family has been through a tough period since the beginning of the year. My husband lost his job in Feb. My son's doctor was worried about his growth - wanting us to do very expensive tests we couldn't afford. It's been a dark time. I have never been so worried and hopeless. I was having insomnia and experienced panic attacks. However, here we are almost four months later. My husband just had three interviews in one week. And because he has been home with my son, under his care the kid grew 1 1/2 inches and packed on 5 pounds in 3 months - his legs are now as thick and strong as tree trunks. No need for tests. And guess what else? I finally got the guts to go and talk with a college counselor about going to school part time. I am starting this fall, yeah baby!!! And yes I was an unfortunate JW youth that "pioneered" instead of going to college.
We still have some anxiety - but what is it for? Worry that we may loss material things. Well I say, who gives a you know what. I don't care. If I lose everything I have it is nothing but the vestiges of a foolish lifestyle in which I never planned for the future. Never thought I would have to really pay my bills because Jah would come and rescue us. Throwing those things off would be like shedding skin - my continuing evolution to become my true self. I know what is most important to me now. My real family and friends. And I don't need to impress them.
Yes there is still hope. Hope that we can overcome our current problems. And hope that we can break the bonds and heal the pain of the past. Hope that along the way we can become better human beings. Hope that we won't blow ourselves up. Hope that one day the WTS membership dries up. Hope that we can reach our potential, find love, make friends, etc. Hope that if there is a god he/she is truly a god of love and forgiveness. Hope that we can rise like a Phoenix from the ashes, reborn.
Whatever you are going through, just remember, even if it is just a thread, "There is still hope".