4 jokes

by bebu 5 Replies latest social humour

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  bebu

  During the war with Iraq, a leader assembled all of Saddam Hussein's doubles. Addressing them, he said, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Saddam is alive and well!" Cheering ensued. "The bad news is, that he is missing an arm..."

  At a large auction, the auctioneer held up a French musket and began, "Who'll start the bidding for this musket in such fine shape, having only been dropped once..."

  A joke reportedly told in the Middle East before the war: Bush and Blair are drinking coffee at a restaurant. Up comes Rumsfeld, and Blair says to him, "Bush and I are planning to have a war in Iraq, and we are expecting that 14 million arabs and 1 dentist will be killed." Rumsfeld is puzzled. "One dentist?" "See, I told you," Bush tells Blair, "No one is going to ask about 14 million arabs..."

  The joke being told in the Middle East after the war: Saddam is waiting on one side of a large chasm, and he see the Iraqi Minister of Information appear on the other side, holding up 2 fingers. "Praise be to Allah! It is victory!" Saddam exclaims. "No, Mr. Hussein; you and I are the only 2 left..."
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  shamus

  What does Saddam Hussein and Fred Flinstone have in common???

  When they both look outside, all they see is Rubble.
• 

  OICU8it2

  A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer and a mop.
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  bebu

  Shamus, your avatar is hysterical!!

  bebu
• 

  Vash_The_Stampede_13

  Have you noticed anything fishy about the inspection teams who have
  Arrived In Iraq? They're all men! How in the name of the United Nations does anyone
  expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot
  when it comes finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the
  Dirty Clothes hamper. Men find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the
  Cupboard
  And splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent
  Into
  Iraq to search hidden weapons of mass destruction? I keep wondering why
  Groups of mothers weren't sent in. Mothers can sniff out secrets
  Quicker than
  A drug dog can find a gram of dope. Mothers can find gin bottles that
  Dads
  Have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a
  Diary two
  Rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar
  Has been
  Disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a
  Chocolate cake. A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you
  Get your
  Key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away.
  By
  Examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock
  Holmes.
  And if a mother wants an answer to a question, she can read an
  Offenders
  Eyes quicker than a homicide detective. So... considering the value a
  Mother
  Could bring to an inspection team, are we sending a bunch of old men
  Who
  Will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats? My
  Mother
  Would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the
  Ear,
  Give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of
  Mass
  Destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to her. She'd march
  Him
  Down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a
  Nuclear bomb
  And say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump!
  Whap!
  Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with
  That
  Soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad. He'd
  Not
  Only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn
  In
  Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer. Inspectors my butt... You
  Want
  The job done? Call my mother.I got this in my e-mail box from my Paw Paw.
• 

  primitivegenius

  she would 2 lol