by Mecurious? 4 Replies latest jw friends
Okay, I would like to get some feedback on people who have been reproved and later realized that everyone knew why you were reproved. And, people who have shared a personal problem in confidence with an elder(s), only to have it spread like wildfire throughout the congregation. Please also detail what you did about it. Like asking the elders how the story got out and from whom.
Thanks
B'
I was quite fortunate when this happened to me, because tha people who'd heard about it thought that it was pretty shady that it had been spread around, and came and told me about it, and who it came from. It was an elder in another hall who was talking about it, so I went to his meeting one night instead of my own to confront him. After the meeting I talked to him out the back (Along with a few other elders he asked along with us), and told him that I wasn't happy. He couldn't see the problem, because what he was saying to people was true, and basically told me to get lost. When I got home, I got a phone call from my PO, saying the elder had made a complaint to him about me, and could I go and discuss it with them. They started out very negative to me, but listened to what I had to say, and agreed the elder was wrong to have been telling everyone and that they would be phoning his PO to discuss it with him! It was a result at the time, but elders have long memories and I'm DF'd now.
This is one reason I came to the conclusion that the elders don't need to know everything that goes on in one's life. But, alot of J-dubs feel like they have to consult the elders on every step that they take. I found out the hard way that this is a big mistake.
B'
I got the body of elders in trouble with the C.O.. Long story short, I had just changed cong's, and didn't put in my time for a few months until they got my cardd, at their request.
The service overbeerer stonewalled me everytime I tried to give me my time,,, like 3 times...
I tried to aux. pioneer one month and he told me that I was not approved, b/c I, I went against jehovah's arrangement.
The Circuit Overseer was out in service with me, and asked if I thought about pioneering. Well, I told him the story and he was PISSED. The elders had a meeting before the friday night bookstudy (you know, when the P.O. comes, we all have the bookstudy at the hall on a friday..).. and reemed their asses out. Then, they had a special announcement that I was auxillary pioneering at the Friday meeting! An elder comes up to me, GRABS ME HARD on the arm and HISSES at me "you really need to get - your - time - in - properly...", and I RIPPED my arm out from him, and said," I tried to". (god, I wish that I had a better comeback), and stormed away.
I laughed all night over that one, and still makes me laugh to this day. They were SOOO PISSED AT ME. That Circuit Overseer was extemely cool!
Mecurious, what I would do depends on what it is that's getting spread round. I take it that its something that people could not have found out from other sources. How many people knew that you were doing it at the time at the time? How many people have you told about it? Could they have inadvertantly said something that let it slip? Is it something that people could have guessed, ie, if you and your girlfriend got reproved at the same time 99% of the time it is because of fornication so people would guess. And apparently most committees are about that anyway so people jump to conclusions. If you can PROVE that none of these could have happened, and it only could have been found out by an elder blabbing, I suggest the same as what Shamus done. The CO will bowl them out for doing something so lessen the congregations faith in them. If you approach another elder, they'll just try to bury it, and if you write to the society then they'll just get a generic letter warning them to keep quiet, no real rebuke but having you in their sights for next time...
