Okay, I just don't get this...

by logansrun 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    My uncle, formerly an elder, was disfellowshipped early this year. He's trying desperately to get reinstated and is going through some pretty depressing times these days (a possible divorce with his neurotic wife, etc.) I feel for him. I really do. Even though I don't like his braindead adherance to this cult, I want what is best for him.

    But here's the funny part. My mother -- his younger sister, also a lifelong JW -- talks to him all the time. I mean, he comes over about every other week and they talk about his problems, how he wants to get reinstated and the like. They dine and laugh together too (they say seperate silent prayers which makes them look pretty weird).

    That's great. Although I don't like to be around when they are talking about their nutty religion, I applaud my mother for speaking to her brother in his greatest time of need. But, is it just me, or is she definately NOT playing by the Society's rules. My uncle is not living in the same household as her and is not dependent on her financially in any way. My sister and brother-in-law both shun him completely. Is it in any way possible that she actually got the "ok" from the elders to do this (they are not in the same congregation)? Somehow, I doubt it. I feel like asking her "what gives, mom? I thought you were'nt supposed to talk to --" but that could only open up a can of worms.

    So, in your opinion, is this shocking or what? Again, it's commendable that she does this for him, but couldn't she get in a little hot water if other JWs found out about this?

    Bradley

  • shamus
    shamus

    Yes, that's pretty wacky. Sometimes they break the rules, sometimes not. I don't really think that there's anything you should do about it... just let them break the rules and giver'

  • rocketman
    rocketman

    I think that, for many jws, humanity prevails over their shunning rules.

    This happened a few times over the years in my family. We had a df'd relative. Some of my family were talked to about dealings with them. Without coming out and saying it, the feeling was 'you know what you can do with your rules' (kind of wish someone did come out and say it).

    But, if some zealous jw finds out, yeah, your mom could get in some trouble, though I doubt they'd df her...but who knows.

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Come to think of it, that's probably a good reason not to bring this to her attention -- the guy needs help and she's acting like a human being. I don't want her cult induced "conscience" to start kicking in. I'm going to leave the matter alone. But, still, it's pretty wacky.

    Of course, this is the same mother who wrote all the talks for her father, an elder, for the past twelve years. Hey, the lady doesn't always play by the rules. That's kinda cool !

    Bradley

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    When my dad was disfellowshipped we had him over and treated him exactly as we did before, if anything, we went out of our way to make sure he had us around so he wouldn't get too lonely. I got a few lectures from the elders about what I should and shouldn't do, but I ignored each and every one of them. And they weren't interested enough to stake out my house to see how often he came over, so I didn't get into official trouble. Then, in the middle of his disfellowshipped year, I left the Borg, so it really didn't matter!

    A JW relative can always use the excuse of "discussing necessary family business" if they're questioned about dealings with a DF'd relative.

    Nina

  • IslandWoman
    IslandWoman

    Not all JWs are "braindead" heartless drones. That's what some of the exJW movers and shakers have been pushing down people's throats for years. It's not true.

    Your Mom proves that.

    IW

  • logansrun
    logansrun

    Island Woman,

    Don't get me wrong, my mother is quite braindead about a number of JW related things (sorry mom). She still believes it's the only true religion, that Jehovah is using the GB, that "they never really said 1975 would bring Armageddon" even though she lived through it, and other dumb Dub beliefs ad nauseum. Asked if only JWs will survive Armageddon she says "no." Asked how a God of love could destroy babies and and innocent animals in the Flood she will resopond "I just don't think about that."

    And she detests the fact I come here.

    But, she's still a nice lady if you meet her

    Bradley

  • IslandWoman
    IslandWoman

    Bradley,

    In my opinion, when you're in a mental straight jacket as JWs are, any effort to "wiggle" and do what you feel is right, is a good thing.

    Your Mom seems like a fine person, as many other JWs are also.

    IW

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    LR, you answered your own question, "I'm going to leave the matter alone". He's looking for comfort/support/understanding and he's seeking it where he thinks it's best.

    Guest 77

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