who told on you?

by doodle-v 7 Replies latest jw experiences

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  doodle-v

  when i was a good little dub, i remember being in highschool and i had to work on a class project with several other people. To work on our project we had to go off campus. All the people in my group were boys and one of them volunteered to drive to our project site. well our site was near a sisters house. Little did i know that when we got out of the car this sister happened to be peering out of the window.

  Sure enough, when i got home, my dad was like "sister nosy saw you get out of a car with for other boys... she told me she was very "concerned" I knew it was perfectly innocent, but i had to spend the next half hour defending myself and explaining that it was part of my school project. All the while i was thinking (WTF??? Do i always have to look over my shoulder? Are there dubs spying on me wherever I go, just so they could run to the elders to express their "concern"?) Why dont they just mind their own f*****n business?

  Did any of you have a similar experience? where some of you doing something perfectly innocent when a group of dubs out in service saw you and then ran to your parents or the elders? did you ever find yourself hauled before a JC for something that was totally stupid and taken out of context?

  doodle-v (of the I'm in the mood for a good story- class)
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  coffee_black

  My mother had anonymous phone calls from a jw who would call with supposed offenses I had committed. She'd call if she didn't like the way I was dressed or whatever. My mother never said a word to me about these calls. After my mom's death, at an assembly, my best friend overheard a conversation, and said to me, "Well, now I know who all the anonymous phone calls came from" Her mom had received similar calls, and she would get in trouble because of them. Well, the conversation she overheard gave her enough info to put 2 and 2 together, to identify the busy body. She told me that her mom and mine, (and probably everyone else in the cong. had received calls like this.) She told me, because her mom and mine were friends, and discussed this. My mom had said that she could never take the word of someone who didn't have the courage to identify themselves, so she dismissed the calls. It made me sad...I realized I couldn't talk to my mom about it, and thank her for the way she handled it. I miss my mom....

  coffee
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  coffee_black

  Just remembered another.... When I was a teenager, I occasionally wore my hair up. I thought it was glamorous. I wore it that way to an assembly. As soon as an older sister from my congregation saw me, she read me the riot act. Told me I was calling attention to myself, and should be ashamed. My feelings were hurt, so I told my dad, who dropped everything to talk to her. In front of me he told her that she was not a spiritual police woman, and that if she had any opinions about the way I dressed, she could either go to him about them, or keep her opinions to herself. He told her that he thought I looked beautiful, and it was up to him to set the rules in our home, not her. My dad was a prominent elder, and she knew she had gone too far. Made my day

  Dad's gone now too...he wasn't your average elder. Miss him...

  Coffee
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  amac

  I'd be proud of those parents, too.
• 

  RAYZORBLADE

  Ugh! I remember this all too well.

  Talk about earlier threads about 'living the lie'. Better to finger someone else than draw attention to oneself, eh?

  Back in the winter of 1984, I had pretty much left the Borg, attempting to simply disappear/fade etc., but of course, JWs seem to be like spies. They can find you anywheres.

  I was at my cousin's place in Toronto. Where I had previous lived, the JW couple somehow had my cousin's number. Probably it was laying around somewheres.

  My buddy back in Maine (and he knows who he is) confided in me some time before about 'his' preferences. As a result, we became good friends. No we never acted upon these impulses, but we were well aware of them. We trusted each other implicitly.

  Anyways, by late 83' I had left, stopped attending meetings....having given up on the Borg. This fellow somehow tracks me down: called the old place I had lived. Then proceeded to obtain my cousin's telephone number. The phone rings at my cousin's. He looks at me (my cousin) with a puzzled look on his face, saying the call was for ME. Me?

  I take the phone, it's my buddy in Maine. He proceeds to ask me how I am doing, and I guess he must have asked some pertinent questions to that JW couple I rented a room from, as he began to ask me if I was going to meetings/service etc., and point blank. Re: gay stuff.

  I told him: yes.

  He became Mr. Zealous JW right away. Told me that if I did not go back to meetings or speak to the elders he was going to contact the Georgetown Bethel (Canadian Bethel). He was very adament about it. I was to contact the elders or he'd have to (not wanting to be blood guilty).

  Bah!

  So I did.....obviously only freshly having left the JWs, the mindset did not leave overnight, let me tell you.

  The irony is, this brother....got married. After I all I knew about him (details), he still went ahead and got married.

  What a crock!

  Ironically, thanks to the internet, I contacted an ex-JW from the same area. She knew this brother and proceeded to 'fill me in'. He's miserable.....not my problem. Too bad, as he was 'then' my best friend.

  If he left the JWs, honestly....I'd forgive him in a heartbeat. I'd welcome him unquestionably. But until then, it's me who is out of there, and he remains trapped. Pitiful isn't it?
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  doodle-v

  ahhhh, your guys' stories bring back so many memories (yuck) JW KGB at its finest! I've got another one... this one really burns me up till this day. I wanted to be a counseler when i was in highschool, my parents told me that was fine since another witness was going and we were going to be in the same cabin. Well, i made the mistake of asking an elders daughter if she was going, because she was attending an elementary school in which her class would be going to camp the same week i was to be a counseler. I asked her in front of him, and she quietly says "no". Stupid me, i was like "why not??" and he promptly answers for her "because i dont want my daughter associating with wordly people for an entire week!"

  Well a few days later, my parents have a talk with me and tell me after reading the scriptures they realize that it might not be a good idea for me to be a counselor. Of course, they have me read the 2 Corinthians 3:19 bad association spoils useful habits, and im thinking (so a bunch of 11 year olds are bad association??) I tell you i was highly upset. I find out later that this elder had a talk with my dad and told him that he wasnt letting his daughter go and he didnt think i should go either! (bah!!)
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  maxwell

  My incident wasn't a big thing and I still never found out who told on me although I had some idea. But as a teenager growing up I fully believed the JW beliefs. I was even considered an exemplary young person. This obviously made other young people jealous.

  I was in the marching band at my school. While the 'School brochure' did caution about association outside of school, my Kingdom Hall had never been very strict about this and my father who was incidently an elder at the time allowed it since we never practiced more than two days a week for about 2 hours after school. I did well in music and sometimes my band director would have me transpose parts of scores for band arrangements that he had wrote. So at some point he decided to write a new school song although I wouldn't call it the official school song. He based on this old gospel type song. Of course, a gospel song would bring up all kinds of red flags for a JW, but many black gospel songs, which this was one, really lean into jazz and secular music. So I thought nothing of it since the gospel words wouldn't be used. So he has me transposing and writing up some part. Someone must have seen me.

  We come home from the meeting one night and my dad asks me if I had been writing a school song. I honestly said no. (I had not thought of it as an official school song or anthem). Just another spirit song.) My dad says and goes on. But hearing that and other things let me knowthat other people were trying to find something wrong with me. I made another post several months ago about the elders meeting with me and saying I would lose my microphone holding and other hall work "privileges" if I continued acting as drum major for the marching band. The reason--not that it was bad association or that I was doing anything inappropriate, but that some other young persons were pointing at me and saying that because I as an "exemplary" young person could do that, they should be able to join sports teams. Pitiful, I thought it was then and even more so now. The fact that somehow my actions were prevented elders and even more so parents from dealing with their children properly. My parents may be still in that religion, but they never bowed to the insane logic of "but that kid is doing it."
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  MrMoe

  My dad. He broke into my apartment to collect evidence and then turn me in.