My parents were divorced before I started school. Although my father still lived in the same town, between the ages of 5 and 20 I saw him maybe 10 times. So, I was raised without a father or any other male role model, for that matter. The only father I had was my mother who, as a female, did a damn fine job of being a father, if I must say so myself. Still, she never crawled under the car and showed me how to change the oil; or fix a flat on my bike; or showed me how to throw a football; or any of the other things that are normally handed down from father to son. Some things girls just don't know. What I've learned about being a man I've learned on my own, through trial and, sometime, serious error. I've thought for years that I, because of all this, had a pretty pathetic life. Now, I've learned that I am one of the lucky ones.
One of the benefits that I've had posting here and getting to know others through the things they write is that, for 1, I'm not the only one that has experienced some of the things I have and 2, others have had it a whole lot worse than me and have come out of it just fine. It's for latter that I write this.
There are folks out there (some of whom post here) who have experienced a true hell on earth. To read their experiences make me feel ashamed that I ever complained about the minor miseries I've had. They have worked very hard to overcome living hell and have become very fine people -- in my mind Champions. So, I think it's a fine thing that at least once a year a day is set aside to remember those who have not let their history become an excuse for adding to the cycle of pain; who have NOT run from their responsibility to be providers and guiders to the next generation, giving *their* little ones someone to look up to and hopefully one day copy.
Many fathers are following the good example that others before them left behind. These can recall the hand their fathers played in shaping them into the men they are today. As I've learned, though, not all had such examples to follow, and it's for these that I write this especially. To those dads who never had a role model but became one anyway; who didn't and don't run from the responsibility they have of looking out for their kids; to the men who quietly go about the business of being a dad with no expectation of thanks or applause, I say...
Happy Father's Day .