WT Reader's Guide Part1

by philo 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • philo
    philo

    The Watchtower rough guide: distinguishing between the line, and the lie.

    1.Negatives.
    You find these in abundance. Often they are slid, here and there, into apparently optimistic articles, extolling the virtues of, say, humming birds or watercolours. The reader will be left with the feeling that although these are 'wondrous to declare', true Christians should nevertheless treat them with balance and circumspection. However pay particular attention when you detect clusters of negatives. Why have these been shovelled in?

    WT QUESTION:
    Why can the world not see that the occurrence of ( negatives:) earthquakes, famines, wars, and reports of wars, is physical proof of Jesus' invisible reign?

    WT ANSWER:
    Because the world is in the hands of Satan, as proved by ( negatives:) youth crime, aids, family breakdown, green jelly babies, rap music, and Internet apostates.

    Conclusion: The Watchtower line is so preposterous that a mass of unrelated negatives are needed to give a veneer of credibility?

    Daft(Question)+(negatives) = Daft(Answer)+(negatives)

    You can see by simplifying this equation that the negatives give no more support than the daftnesses.

    It's like being sold that gift box-set of chromium and carbon-fibre back scratchers, except here the line uses positives.

    "Look at all you're getting! The ankle sock, the pressure band, 12 high fibre water tablets, the blood-type stressometer, AND the dual nostril de-ionising nasal spray! Put in your order today, while stocks last, and we will throw in a pair of fully insulated, orgasmic jump-leads, absolutely free!"

    philo

  • Prisca
    Prisca
    Because the world is in the hands of Satan, as proved by ...green jelly babies,......

    ROTFLOL That is the best thing I have read on this board all week!

  • LDH
    LDH

    OMG I needed to laugh so bad.

    <<<agreeing with Prisca>>>

  • BugEye
    BugEye

    My Favourite WT twist is the greek stuff. You know,

    This particular Greek verb is in the post plu perfect silent tense and as
    such the scripture should really read " Thou must bowest down to the Watchtower
    Society and Givest to the Watchtower Society all of your reasoning powers"
    .....continuing bovine excrement.....

    Dave

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    Oh god!!! The whole Greek word thing is one of my pet peeves.

    Whenever the Society is in trouble, quick! Dig up a greek word. When they are in REAL trouble, quick! Dig up a hebrew word. Truely desperate? Aramaic (sp).

    My name is Slipnslideius Masterus: commander of the armies of the North, general of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius...

  • think41self
    think41self

    LOL Philo,

    green jelly babies

    LOL Bugeye,..give to the Society your reasoning abilities
    ....continuing bovine excrement....

    We have some truly gifted people on this board. Keep up the good work!

    think41self

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