Fixations

by onacruse 8 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  onacruse

  When I went to college several years ago, we had (as I suspect is usually the case) a college-sponsored newspaper; articles written by the students, for the students.

  There was one writer who absolutely had it in for the president of the college; the pres couldn't even sneeze without this writer making a big issue about it in next week's paper. I happened to have a personal relationship with the president; he was a former Jesuit, and we had several interesting conversations about theology, etc. One thing he told me was that he just couldn't understand why this writer had such a fixation: they had never even met!

  Why are some people so fixated?

  Craig
• 

  Gopher

  It may be because they don't have any life of their own. They live vicariously through others.

  Proper adult living entails giving others their breathing room.
• 

  Maverick

  Maybe this person, the one with the fixation, had no good close friends. A good friend will let you know when you are going overboard about a cause or a person. People who have little interaction with people can 'get lost' in the image of the fixation subject. They rarely know the subject, because if they did they would see it is very different than the image they had made up in their head. Or maybe this guy was a wack-job. What do I know! Maverick
• 

  onacruse

  Ok..."no life of their own," "no friends." Two very likely pre-conditions that could lead to fixation. So, maybe if we break the question into:

  1) Person-to-person fixations. I've known a few, but very few, that I thought were fixated. Maybe my concept of "fixation" is too narrow, but I can count on one hand those who I feel were fixated person-to-person. Quite frankly, I've observed more of it in this forum than at any other time in my life.

  2) Person-to-object fixations. In this case, I'm thinking primarily of exJW-to-WTS fixation. Now, I can speak with some freedom here, since a good percentage of my posts reveal my own antipathy. Of course, I like to think that I'm very balanced about it all (LOL ), but I daresay that a friend might suggest that I'm fixated. And, as many here have said (including me): Get over it, and move on with life.

  Now then, would you say that spending hours and hours every week in this forum (my average is about 7.5 posts per day nearly a year), arguing JW and Biblical issues (even though I'm DFd and have no intention of going back), constitutes a fixation? Or, if I posted back into someone's face on almost every comment they make here, would that strike you as fixation?

  Craig
• 

  kgfreeperson

  For me, fixations are distractions allowing me to ignore the real issues I should be dealing with. I do not believe this is true only for me!
• 

  Joyzabel

  Hey Ona,

  I think that writer may have had a fixation for the position that the president represented, not the man himself.

  As far as your fixations, sir ona, yes you are spending way toooo much time here and dealing with the JW's. I thought Katie was your new fixation!

  anyway, I think fixations are a form a mental illness.

  j2bf
• 

  Gopher

  Craig,

  I REFUSE to reply to your fixation questions, on the grounds that you might label me fixated!!

  I will not post to this thread ever ever again. Got that?
• 

  OrbitingTheSun

  For me, fixations are distractions allowing me to ignore the real issues I should be dealing with. I do not believe this is true only for me!

  I agree, kgfreeperson.
• 

  be wise

  If that's the case then does that mean all ambitious people are fixated because they spend all there time to a cause. For example athletes or snooker players. Where would we be without all the extremely hard working actors and musicains and sports personalities and others.

  Is aiming for the top just an unhealthy fixation to escape from life. If it is then bring it on.

  Can someone tell me what is this normal life that is so healthy that we should all be aiming for? To be honest I find the so-called 'normal' life extremely boring, I like to look for something more even if it might not be the easiest thing to deal with.