When I was DF'd I had some relatives that I was not close to that were never JW's. The remainder were JW's. Now I am married to someone whose only religious experience is Sunday School. Since he came into my life many years after being DF'd it was not a big conversation although at times has been discussed due to trying to explain the beliefs, religion due to events like our wedding and why certain people would be absent etc. I find the extreme extent of JW shunning to be one of the most difficult things to explain to a non dub.
However I know a person who is inactive but has a spouse and child still active JW's. I also see on this board there are people whose significant other was a JW as well.
From your experience does it make it easier to have a spouse or family member who can relate? Or does it make any difference at all? What about the person who was not raised a JW but joined and then left or was DF'd on there own? Or perhaps it is equally but differently difficult for those who have family who still remain while they leave (ie: spouse/children)? Does it make any difference if you leave when younger or older? Or is it pretty much just a journey no matter what?
I for one am so thankful my hubby never had to experience the sting of this shunning or any of the other negativity related with the JW's. For the most part I think it doesn't really matter in our relationship since our experiences in life (even non -religious) are so varied anyway... I do however believe that being DF'd in my teens and having to experience this has changed me. Not to say that being shunned would be any easier at a later stage in life...but perhaps for me it may have been as I think at the point in my life when it happened I was still looking for acceptance and my place in my life, family etc. That being said...I firmly believe most things happen for a reason and every event in my life led me to this wonderful place I now call home.
I didn't notice the remainder of my post was missing before I signed off last night....
I was going to say that for me when I was first DF'd there were a number of good friends from school/work and there families that supported and encouraged me. And now since my husband and his family were never part of the religion they have filled some of the void.
What was it or who was it that encouraged you on your journey away from the JW's?
From your experience does it make it easier to have a spouse or family member who can relate? Or does it make any difference at all?
I think it must make a huge difference if you have a spouse who can relate. I met & married my wife not long after I left the JWs, so she has never been JW and I dont find it appropriate to talk JWism to her, sometimes we have passed family on the street and she has had no idea that we just walked past someone I have been very close too. I dont mention it most of the time but I guess it would be nice to be able to relate that experience with her. In saying that, its not a big issue, I'm happy that she hasnt had to go through the JW experience.
My husband and I met when he read my personal story which I had posted on another website a few years ago. I had set up an anonymous email address to go with the story. He read my story, and sent me an email. I answered, and the rest, as they say is history. We have now been married for a little over 2 years. Both of us were raised as witnesses. Our similar backgrounds have been very helpful in my opinion. Who else would understand without judging why or how my parents could choose to go to an assembly rather than our wedding?
I had a conversation with my sister, before I met my husband, in which I said that it would make life a lot easier to meet someone who grew up the way we did so that our strange upbringing would not cause any sort of problem down the road, whether with children or other familymembers. At the time, I thought that was a next to impossible feat, but I was wrong. So for me, it is very significant to have found a spouse that can fully relate.
