The Amazing Disappearing Father!

by benge 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  benge

  Hi hope you can help.

  What is disassociation? Is it why despite a recent reestablishment of communications with my dad has dissolved into stilted telephone conversations and a request for me not to contact him?

  He and his family have been JW's for ten years, and although it hasn't been the closest of relationships in that time it has not reached this level before.

  I have never been in the JW's and had never thought that they would promote the cutting off of family. Bemusedly I started looking for information on the web and ended up here.

  Any advice or shared experience would be gratefully received.

  Thanks.
  B
• 

  Mulan

  They shouldn't be cutting you off if you have never been a JW. They might discourage frequent association, but to cut you off totally is not their policy. It sounds like your family has gotten some bad advice. You might write to New York, to the headquarters, and explain this. They possibly will talk to the congregation involved, in your behalf. No guarantees though.
• 

  Yerusalyim

  Benge,

  Welcome to the board. Stick around and learn. NOPE. Disassociation has nothing to do with your father's conduct. Disassociation is when a JW breaks contact with the Society either formally (in writing) or by not going to meetings anymore. Your father for some reason has decided to avoid contact with you. Are you a BAD ASSOCIATION (another term to become familiar with). Without knowing all the circumstances it may be that your father still has some bad feelings from whatever it was that caused this enstrangement in the first place, and is using the JW's as a way out. If you have in anyway insulted or denegrated his religion this too might play a role. If you're a Christian pray for him.
  My heart goes out to you the Society has been responsible for the break up of MANY families.

  I'll ask first. What's your story?

  Yeru

  YERUSALYIM
  There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
  Shakespere: Hamlet
• 

  willy_think

  the same thing happened to me. as to advice, i wish i had some. keep looking into the WTB&TS inc. i think you will find out sum stuff that will blow your mind.

  the ideas and opinions expressed in this post do not necessiarly represent those of the WTB&TS inc. or any of it's subsidiary corporations.
• 

  JW72

  It's not typical JW behaviour, maybe your dad doesnt like you....

  I know my dad doesn't like me, and he's a JW.

  I'm not saying he shouldn't like you, maybe he would like you if he hadn't been trained to hate all people that aren't JWs.

  Sorry if I'm being rude, nut I feel quite bitter about this.

  Chris
• 

  benge

  Yeru - thanks for your reply.

  I do not follow any religion, and have always treated his with respect, but little active interest. I do wonder if he sees me as a package with my mum and sister as part of his "past". The wonder of it is that after ten years of on and off contact we very recently saw eachother, and I laid my heart on the line - telling him how I loved and missed him and how now as I am comtemplating fatherhood I would like his advice. It all seemed a breakthrough but it is since then that he has asked me not to call for a while etc. etc. - he is the same with my sister.

  If it is not a JW thing - and I am quite open to that - the barriers that it presents are not the easiest to circumvent.

  Thanks again.
  Benge
• 

  benge

  Chris

  It's not rude - maybe he doesn't like me. Exactly when he'd have had the chance to form that change of opinion in the 10 hours we've spent together in the last 10 years is an interesting question.....