Me and a few people were discussing in chat about the new KM issue that tells you that Jehovah wants you to be at the Assembly. I sarcasticly said "Do they have god's phone number or something" and it gave me an idea. What if you could talk to Jehovah on the phone.
Here is a simulated conversation between Jehovah and Ted Jarcaz, our favorite nutty Austrian.
Ted dials up 1 800 WHY 1914?
Ted: Hey Jehovah, what's up!? This Is T.J.
Jehovah: Were you that kid that got DF'ed for smoking and you're asking for my forgiveness again? Dude, next time you think of calling me think about joining another church! They're all the same!
Ted: No, it's Ted Jarcaz...
Jehovah: MYSELF DAMMIT! YOU AGAIN!?
Ted: But I'm only calling to see if you can ask people to come to the assembly this year!
Jehovah: Why? To add to your church's misconception that I only favor you?
Ted: Yeah! And it's not a misconception, we only have favor with you, right Jehovah?
Jehovah: No. First, quit annoying the hell out of people.
Ted: But all the religions do the same.
Jehovah: What do I care!? Look, I said it was ok for 2 daughters to go lay their dad while he was drunk!
Ted: Yeah, but we still spread your name all over the earth...
Jehovah: That is true, you did spread my name all over the earth..... WITH UTTERLY BAD RESULTS!!!!! WHEN PEOPLE HEAR MY NAME, THEY DON'T THINK OF THE TIME I MADE FOOD FALL OUT OF THE MYSELF DAMN SKY!!! THEY THINK OF CHILD MOLESTATION, ANNOYING PEOPLE AT THE DOOR, AND BAD PROPHECIES!!!!
Ted: But, but what about the generation of 1914?
Jehovah: TED!!! WHAT PART OF "NO MAN KNOWS THE TIME OR HOUR" DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU AUSTRIAN PERVERT!?!?!?!?!?!? DON'T CALL HERE EVER AGAIN!!! *Click*