Growin Up Motherless

by little witch 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • little witch
    little witch

    Recently, I responded to a thread, and Reacted in , a uh, agressive manner..

    I have been very upset over this, as many of you have, and so I wanted to try to explain myself, (which I am not good at) so bear with me.

    My Mother was killed in a car crash when I was two years old. My Dad, found himself in need of a baby sitter, married the first to come along, after six months.....Unfortunatly she was a JW, emotionally unstable, and mentally Ill,

    The next 15 years of my life, where pure hell. Don't believe in hell you say? Yep, hell exists, right here, right now, just look in the eyes of an abused child.....

    An abused child, doesn't need jw books to scare her more, they only add to the torment. Jw's do not protect abused children, we are taught to take it, cause we deserve it...Which I did for many, many years...I always knew in my heart, that they were unacceptable in their doctrines, and funtions, but 15 years is a long time to a young person, who is getting slapped, hit, spit on, called ""whore like your mother'', etc, and a ''church'' congregation takes the side of the abuser.

    By the time I was 13, I knew there was no end to this... and made an unsucessful attempt to hang myself. I ran away, by climbing down bedsheets tied together...from a second story window. I went to my (by this time) married sisters house.

    This was after my step grandfather, and step uncle tried to molest me. I had nowhere to turn (which I knew at the time)

    My father tracked me down, cried, (I had never seen him cry before) and made me return, promising I would suffer no repercussions.

    Only, he was never around to keep his promise.

    I was more hated for telling about the abuse from step mothers father...She just could not relate to my pain (although he had abused his daughters in their childhood) and she knew I was being truthful.

    The Jw's, had her convinced that everything should stay quiet, Shhhhhh.....

    I now have a family of my own. I am an hypervigilant mother. I seldom...very seldom let them spend the night with anyone, I question them to make sure they feel secure enough to say ""NO""!!! (you would be suprised how many of our daughters don't know how)

    They know Karate,they know how to defend themselves. They read many posts here, on Jwd, about abuse (my descretion) I feel it is better for girls to be aware, and educated.

    When I made my responses to the thread the other day, I wanted to be a voice for a child who apparently didn't have one..

    I am not ashamed for that. I have learned the hard way to be my own advocate, sometimes, no body else will.

    I am sorry I divided the board, it is just that I think adults should be protective of children. Especially if they are surrounded by people who are unwilling (for whatever reason) to help.

    I can only speak from my own experiences, but it was only MY experience. I am deeply sorry for any heartache I caused to innocent people.

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    I’m so sorry you went through such horrors, Little Witch.

    I am sorry I divided the board

    I don’t think you did that. It was a horrifying thread. The focus was mainly on helping that child, but I also sensed that there was another person in the situation who needed help also. No good could come from continuing to hammer this person even after they had done what was needed to help this child, IMHO.

    Especially if they are surrounded by people who are unwilling (for whatever reason) to help.

    The person was willing--they just had to find the courage to do it (they did).

    Again, I think it was horrible that you had to live through such a hell, and I admire that you are educating your children to not keep secrets.

    Sending a big hug your way --->

    (((Little Witch))

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    Little Witch,I now understand why you reacted the way you did.
    With your background, you had no other possibility.

    I feel terrible sorry for you that you underwent those things.

    Branda

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    ((((((little witch))))))

    My mother died when I was young too, and I also had an abusive step-mother. I can relate to your story.

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