Jehovah the Creator has announced His holy intention of not consuming any food until the presence of anti-war hippies is removed from his shows. Upset at the continual presence of young people protesting the U.S. and British intervention in Iraq, Jehovah announced that either they quit bugging Him or He will famish himself as a statement of support for the violent overthrow of Saddam Hussein.
"I'm an artist," said Jehovah, in an interview at Gator's Saloon in Bloomfield, PA. "It's my responsibility to overcome stupidity and short sightedness."
While the concept of a supreme being getting involved in earthly politics may be upsetting to some, the Source of Dynamic Energy is an ardent supporter of political demonstrations of military strength. In his earlier career, he literally made a big splash with his "Egyptian Army Faked Out At Red Sea" display.
"It was a time of continual building in that particular scene, emphasis on pyramids and eternal statues, I thought perhaps it was time to try something new, and show off my abilities of destruction," said the God of Mercy.
"Sodom and Gomorrah: Trial By Fire" was also a popular work, although the only eyewitness was turned into a pillar of salt for looking.
"It was my attempt to get the audience involved in the work, by merely observing, they became part of the art!" said God, defending his controversial decision to turn Mrs. Lot into a column of preservative.
His latest work, "Hungry God" will begin on September 11, 2003, as a protest against the protesters. Although the mechanics of how the source of all energy could ever possibly feel the pangs of hunger have not as yet been finalized, God is confident that soon the "peace loving wimps" will be on their knees, trying desperately to give God a cole-slaw hamburger from Primanti's.
"Yep, that'll teach 'em," said the Great Teacher.
His motivations for the work are primarily based in the corpulence of Michael Moore, the outspoked liberal entertainment icon whose rant at the Oscars created a great deal of publicity for the anti-war movement.
"He looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy, except H.R. Puffenstuff occasionally says something meaningful, like 'Hee hee!'" said Jehovah disparagingly.
"I want to be the anti-Moore." said Jehovah.
Michael Moore could not be reached for comment, as he was at Fat Camp, a weight reduction facility he has attended each year without success since he was eleven, although reports indicate he has gotten his Crafts and Needlepoint badges every summer.
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