My parents' extraordinary weirdness...Borg-induced, or just plain strange?

by razorMind 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  razorMind

  Both of them are dyed-in-the-wool, hardcore, faithful-to-the-end JW's. My dad's an elder and has been for many years.
  

  My sister and I cannot mull enough over the odd upbringing we had. We were raised, literally, as though we were not expected to ever reach womanhood. Things were unbelievably oppressive, repressive, etc. Sex was never, no NEVER, discussed---any TV show (we couldn't get cable, in fact only 2 or 3 channels period) that portrayed a glimmer of making out made my mom panicky, my dad extremely irritated.

  And pray, don't let a woman be "in labor"...my mom would literally freak out, even leave the room if we didn't turn the channel. Now, we're talking the tame channels, back in the late 70's and 80's--not Discovery Health or TLC where they show all the gory stuff. Words like "butt" weren't allowed to be used...only "behind". My mother (much less my dad) quite literally, cannot handle discussions about menstrual periods, cramps, pregnancy-induced breast tenderness (I'm preggo, BTW). I have to consult my books, my sis or my in-laws about things like that. If I wasn't a voracious reader from birth, God knows where I'd have learned about sex.

  Having non-platonic feelings for any male was considered bad. Even the ones "in da troof", you should've seen how they'd act when a guy friend would gather up enough nerve to venture over to our house. My dad would leave in a huff to go work on his tractor, while my mom looked as if she'd become physically ill. Both would give us the silent treatment for a while after the visit. The atmosphere on the day of my prom (never fear, I was with a "young brother") was funereal. Neither parent could look me in the eye or face.

  Whenever we'd get a reprieve by going out-of-state to my auntie's, both parents would again be in bad moods and give us the silent treatment prior to our departure.

  I guess it goes without saying that they learned through a fifth party of my marriage, and that I simply dashed off a brief, staccato, 2-line note in the mail informing them of their grandchild-to-be. Now I just don't bother. I don't have time. My friends and in-laws think I'm insane, but everyone in my hubby's family is ecstatic about the news--and I just CANNOT deal with the weirded-out reaction from them to news that should be joyful. Not that I'll be hurt, but that I'll be lividly ANGRY!!!

  Nowadays, whenever I go "home"--which is very rarely--all I hear is constant bemoaning about how great things were when "we were little", and how much those times are missed.I generally gave up trying to explain these things to "outsiders"--I simply get stared at strangely or they mistakenly see it as "oh, you know how protective parents can be", or "oh, my folks were strict, too"......NOT!!!

  I'm dying to hear someone else's perspective on this--my sister is the only other person who truly understands. Right now we're feeling like we're the only 2 individuals on earth with such a strange background.
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  SixofNine

  ...Borg-induced, or just plain strange?

  Hi Razor :) Obviously, your parents are straight up freaks. The question is why? I don't think you can blame the borg totally, as most witnesses are not as sexually repressed as your parents. Still, the borg is not off the hook. No, the borg is an influence that exacerbates all of a persons bad qualities, while not really championing a persons naturally good qualities (unless a person is a good bullshitter, they do make the most of that ).

  lol, your parents would probably be nervous at the use of the word "exacerbates".

  Undoubtedly, your parents own upbringing was sexually odd and most likely prudish. Were they witnesses growing up? Even if not, I'm sure they found the borg tailor made for their particular pyschosis.
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  razorMind

  I knew other JW parents who, though overbearing and strict as hell when it came to the opposite sex, STILL weren't as prudish as mine are.

  Usually it was the father who was the dictator, but the daughters could at least still talk to the mom about pregnancy and female plumbing stuff.

  Thanks so much for your honest opinion.....please keep the comments coming. They were both raised as JW's, but talk about reproductive matters was still way more free than with us. My Grandma (my mom's mom) talks quite freely and openly about those things and has a much more laid-back attitude about the opposite sex. I don't understand at all.
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  Swan

  I guess my siblings and I lucked out. Our parents bought us the 4 volume set of the Life Cycle Encyclopedias for young people and gave them to us as we neared puberty. Oh, they also said we could ask them questions if we read anything we didn't understand.

  So one day Mom was going on and on about homosexuals trying to get rights and so I asked Mom, "Well, just how do homosexuals have sex?"

  "Oh it's so disgusting I can't even talk about it."

  I quit asking questions. It wasn't until I was in therapy that I was able to get my questions about sex answered. I had a very good doctor. My psychiatrist was very candid and matter-of-fact about everything. I just wish my parents could have done half as good a job.

  But it sounds like you had it worse than I did.

  Tammy
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  Nickey

  Razor,

  We were raised, literally, as though we were not expected to ever reach womanhood.

  I completely relate to that statement because it's exactly how I feel. My father wasn't a JW (he wasn't around much anyway), but it's my mother and Grandfather who are the heavy JW's.

  My family is just as strange. Sex is a big no-no and my mother acts the same way anytime there is kissing or if they show a woman in labor on TV. I'm 22 years old, and my fam still objects to any type of relationship. Acting "flirty" towards men is when I even look. Not even in a flirty way. But just to look AROUND my surroundings when I'm out. I get accused of flirting... which is bad. Anyone who flirts with me get's chased away as if I don't have the common sense nor freedom to determine how to handle it. Either I like the guy or not. Either I say yes or no. (which btw I am in a relationship that they object to.)

  Look, let me tell you how crazy this is. My mother read the Daily Text and an article with a napkin on her head because she said the women in biblical times wore head coverings. Just regular napkins you buy at the store... just pulled it out the drawer and put it on her head. I know I keep saying it, but it just boggles my mind! She even walked around with a watchtower in her hand to keep the demons away.

  9/11? We were on the highway doing nearly 100mph because she thought the tribulation had started or was about to begin and she was trying to drive to the mountains.

  And they're telling me I can't move out until after I'm 30 because Jesus got baptized at the same age... so, you're not truly an adult until you reach that age. And when I do move out, it has to be close within WALKING distance. It's ridiculous.

  I don't think so. I'm going to NYC! *lol*
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  pandora

  RazorMind-

  Don't feel alone. There are many parents like yours. Mine included. Before I figured out that I was raised in a cult, I actually believed that my mother was just unbalanced in the way she raised us, because I saw other parents that allowed their children to breath something other than the watchtower and awake.

  So I just told everyone my mother was certifiable. They never questioned it and even felt sorry for me. I mean, it's not like I couldn't back that statement up with some bazaar thing she had pulled. Example: My mother took a ring from me that she had given me from her mother. She thought it was possessed and that is why I was acting up. When after two weeks I was still the same, she had to admit that it couldn't have been the ring. But when I asked for it back, she informed me that she had thrown it away. It was the only link to her mother left. Out there in the trash, because my mother was NUTS.

  So, you see? There are other parents out there doing the exact same thing to their kids as your parents did to you and your sister. My mother did it to all 4 of her girls. But you only get one mommy, huh? How did we get soo lucky? I don't know.

  Don't feel alone.

  -P(J)
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  tinkerbell82

  Are you sure we dont have the same parents? do you have a long lost sister named brookelynne? i swear that is my parents to a T
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  smurfette

  You are definitely not alone. My mother was like both of your parents. My brother and I also like to mull over our bizarre childhoods. What was horrific then we now find hilarious and laugh until our sides hurt every time we get together. We had to learn to edit or not tell some of the stories around our "wordly" friends as they are horrified by them and then more horrified that were laughing histericaly about it. My favorites are all the various demonized household items my mother used to burn to expel demons. Oddly she was a sorta wiccan before becoming a jdub.