A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and his
>mother-in-law. > >The mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who explains that >they can ship the body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas >they can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150. > >The guy says, "We'll ship her home." > >The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and >we can do a very nice burial here." The guy says, "Look, 2000 years >ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. >I just can't take that chance." > >
I just saw this on a yahoo message board - IN THE BEGINNING,
God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then Satan created McDonald's, Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Kreme.
And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man and Woman said "Yeah, and another one with sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and combined them.
And woman went from size 3 to size 9. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side. And man and woman had to unfasten their belts.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big It needed its own platter.
And man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then brought running shoes so that his children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so man would not have to toil changing the channels. And man and woman watched TV and gained more pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And man and woman gained another ten pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that man and woman might consume fewer calories and still satisfy their appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and it's 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And man replied, "Yea! And super size 'em." And Satan said, "It is good." And man went into cardiac arrest.
Ahahahahahahahaha !!!!!