Thinking Too Much About Death

by Undecided 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • Undecided
    Undecided

    Hi All,

    Recently I have been seeing too much that reminds me of how I must face death in the not too distant future. Everytime I look at a movie on TV most of the actors that I knew when I was young are dead. I was looking at some pictures that my mother left me when she died and most of the people I see are dead, cousins, uncles, aunts, old JW people that I knew growing up. It keeps reminding me that my time is running out. I can't complain about my life, it has been a great trip and I guess that is why I hate to go.

    I know we can only live one day at a time and I enjoy each one, but when I think that maybe in a few years some of my kids will have to care for me it makes me sick. I am 67 and in good shape right now, but in about 10 years will I be able to mow my yard, fix the things that go wrong around the house? The way time flies that is just around the corner. Why do we have to grow old and die like this? It's hard to accept life the way it is, but what choice do we have? None! Maybe I will be like Bob Hope and live to be 100.

    Ken P.

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  • Ravyn
    Ravyn

    Dear Ken,

    I don't know what to say, except I understand. I am only 41, but I have had a life-threatening disease since I was a child and each time I get sick again it is harder to get well. One of these days it just won't happen I know. It is the pits when you have heard since before you went to school(which I was never going to go to....according to the JWs)that you don't have to worry coz one day you will live in Paradise and be healthy. All those things I couldn't do, or the things I might could have, but was afraid to chance it, becoz I would always have Forever to do them...

    I understand.

    I feel better when I realize the only thing that was not a lie in the Bible was when the snake told the humans that they would NOT die! There is just no way it makes any kind of sense to me that this life here in this hostile environment, full of troubles and pain and then so short...is all there is. My life force is more dynamic than this human body can hold. There has to something more. That keeps me going.

    Ravyn

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  • Undecided
    Undecided

    Hi Ravyan,

    Sorry to hear about your health problem, I've been lucky so far. I think about life after this one but I just don't have any idea what if anything there is afterward. If there is I guess I will be happy to see what happens but if not it won't make any difference since I won't know it anyway, so either way it will be ok.

    My wife believes in life after this one, at least she says she does and sometimes she says she would just like to not wake up in the morning and face what's left of this one. All three of our kids are facing a hard life from one thing or another and we can't help them with their problems and it gets her feeling bad. Life is just that way for most people, I've just been plain lucky and probably couldn't face what many others take for granted. I have good happy days and some that arn't so good, but I don't want to give them up yet. I think I will go out back and sit in my swing and quit thinking about all this.

    Ken P.

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  • Shakita
    Shakita

    Hi Ken,

    Try not to think about it too much, Ken....Death is something that we have no control over, even with all of our great advances in science, death is always the inevitable end for all of us. I think of it as an end to a long journey....and hopefully along the way you will have peaceful and soothing memories to help when you reach that end.

    I watched my Mom and Dad die of cancer a couple of years ago, it was a very sad year. I took care of my Dad at the very end, and would not have had it any other way. Don't worry about being a burden to your kids....they do not see it that way. Parents give life and love to their children as they grow, and the children give back that love when their parents are leaving them in death. I just wish that my Dad would have let me take care of him sooner....he was a very independent, stubborn man, I would have loved to have had more time to make more memories before he died.

    If you are worried about financial burdens...there are programs out there to make it easier on the children of elderly and ill parents....maybe if you look these up in your area long before you or your children need them, it will settle your mind a bit about being a burden to them.

    Take care of your health, and look both ways when crossing the street...., and I bet you live to be 100 just like Mr. Hope! Take care.

    Mrs. Shakita

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  • Mary
    Mary

    Hi Ken:

    Death is not a great topic to think about, but we all have to, because every single human that has ever lived has or will die one day. I think alot of the problem with us (ex-JWs) is that we were all assured that we would never have to face "the last enemy", death; that the New System would be here before we grew old and died, and we would all grow younger and live forever in a Paradise earth where no one would ever die again. I grew up with this belief and I never in a million years thought I would have to watch my parents grow old and die, let alone ME!

    So our thinking and beliefs on the subject were very warped due to the religious doctrines we were taught, and so I think it's extra hard for us to face our own mortality when we get closer and closer to it. My opinion though, is that there is life beyond this one. I believe that while the physical body dies, the spirit lives on. I wish I could offer you words of wisdom, but I can't think of what else to say.

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  • ninecharger
    ninecharger

    Yeah, death sucks.

    That is my biggest regret, that I didn't come to terms with the idea when I was young.

    "you won't finish school before A", etc. I have only recently stopped lying awake at night thinking 'omigod I'm gonna die!! but the WT said I won't.' (Boo hoo).

    At least we won't hear any more of their crap once we've gone.

    9

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  • blondie
    blondie

    Dear Ken,

    Recently my husband faced death and beat it. He isn't even 50. I have a life-threatening disease as well. We try to live in the present moment because it is all we really have. Here is quote from one of my favorite women.

    Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today is a gift. That's why it's called 'the present'. (Loretta LaRoche)
    Blondie
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  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    Hi Ken! Me too,I try to push to the back of my mind but it keeps coming to the front.I think of all the years in the Society ( 34 yrs in,trying to fade out ) 60yrs old.Trying to catch up and prepare for the inevitable,never prepared for retirement,you know "You Can Live Forever On a Paradise Earth ".etc.

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  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    I guess everyone has their own way of dealing with mortality.... mine... I take one day at a time and don't worry about tomorrow (at least most of the time I do that, hey, I'm only human).

    What I find interesting/comforting are the near death experiences of others. If your interested, her is a link to one of many on the internet... it's full of people's own experiences in 'crossing over', if only temporarily.... take it for what it's worth... at least, to me, it's facinating:

    http://www.near-death.com/forum.html

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