Exiting the JW's and its aftermath Part 2

by Victor 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  Victor

  Approval

  As children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents. This bond leads to needing their approval. This basic human drive is a very powerful motivating force. I've had clients who sought this approval even from deceased parents. JW's belief system cuts off one's emotional intelligence in service of pleasing a very punitive God from the old testament. This fear is drilled into the JW's at every opportunity to exercise control and loyalty to the elders.

  A healthy goal of recovery is to gain self approval. No one can ever control us other than what we surrender. When we learn to be comfortable in our skin and approve of our actions, we rise above the tyranny from being approval addicts.

  
  
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  Jehalapeno

  Does the same "approval addict" situation exist in the spousal relationship?
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  Finkelstein

  Good point there Victor

  What your saying is the reason why young teenagers and even younger getting baptized or striving to give talks, its approval from their parents and the congregation as a whole.

  In the JWS cult your value as an individual is built around your activity within the JWS religion from going out in service (pioneering), giving talks, assembly participation, all done so to create an semblance of ones spiritual strength or sought out approval.
  
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  Victor

  @Jehalapeno yes that is called codependence if you google it there are tons of good content.

  @ Finkelstein yes
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  Fadeaway1962

  Jehalapeno

  Yes when a spouse uses physiological manipulate and coercion control the victim male or female becomes a approval addict to try and keep the abusers approval .

  Yes Google sign's of domestic abuse.