What was their view of jdub rules?
What was their view on the DFing thing?
Did they get pissed and think it was a cult?
Anybody been to the therapist to talk about the Jdub stuff? What did they think of it?
by nowawake14 9 Replies latest jw friends
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hybridous
Yes.
Highly recommend therapy to help get a person thru some of the mental garbage we tend to carry around.
My counselor didn't offer much in way of offering 'views' on such, since I came there already with my own 'views' and very legit reasons for such 'views'.
When using the word 'cult', I've been asked about the basis for using the word.
I merely deferred to experts in the field, and the fact the WT religion does happen to meet several criteria applied to groups and their behaviors.
I wasn't challenged on that any further.
My counselor was, fortunately, somewhat familiar with the WT religion, and the damage it does. He was great at explaining the programming I was suffering from; the cognitive distortions I was continuing to labor under, and the tools that exist that a person can choose to employ that 'defuse' those emotional/illogical thought habits.
My only mistake was not going to counseling 10 years earlier. I was born-in, so the ORG bullshit molded much of the ways I learned to 'think' (it's not real THINKING for the JWs - it's FEELING, and they don't know the difference!).
I really can't recommend counseling highly enough. Sometimes, separation from JWs isn't enough, because their mental garbage follows you around after you leave their presence. For me, it was an absolute necessity on my road to getting better.
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nowwhat?
My wife's therapist told her, she has a lot of jw patients!
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blondie
Most therapists are totally ignorant about jws; not even many know much about cults. I would search for one experienced in helping people who have left cults; Steven Hassan may have suggestions on his website.
I have educated 2 therapists over the years. One was experienced, as she was a cult survivor herself. We had some interesting conversations realizing how similar our experiences were.
Try some reputable organizations experienced in counseling or resources.
Perhaps some on JWN has some suggestions based on their own experience.
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LV101
Perhaps Steve Hassan's sources/website? would have good referrals of therapists for ex cult members. Maybe google and start researching.
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nonjwspouse
I went for a time to a therapist specializing in religious abuse. As a child he was raised in a family of Independant Baptists. High control religious abuse.
These type of therapists are few, but they are out there. I would just ask when calling.
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DesirousOfChange
Most therapists are totally ignorant about jws; not even many know much about cults. ~ Blondie
Exactly! most therapists just think the JW religion is just another "normal" religion. They have no idea about its high control techniques that entraps people and abuses them.
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snugglebunny
Yes indeed. I saw a therapist decades ago when I was still just a newbie. She suggested that the main problem for JW's was one of negativity. She was right. The "hail fellow, well met" kingdom smiles when one switched into witness mode were a poor substitute for the reality of low self-esteem.
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Xanthippe
I've spoken to three counsellors but I was only lucky with one of them, her relatives were JWs. She said when they all visited her mother in law her children were made to play in a different room from the JW kids because they were considered bad associations! You have to keep looking if the counsellor doesn't have the right knowledge or experience.
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Solzhenitsyn
As was mentioned before, therapists who specialize in religious cult victims and their recovery, are rare.
I was able to find one who has patiently worked with me every week for nearly a year-and-a-half. She even watched many of the j-dub videos, and played them for me during therapy sessions, hitting pause from time to time to explain the details of how what was being seen and heard is emotionally abusive.
In addition to PTSD recovery, EMDR therapy, and an amazing amount of professional patience, she helped me round the corner.
Marriage saved and still together as a family with all of us miraculously having exited one of the most dangerous religious cults in the world.