I can't just walk away, I need to keep reinforcing what I did was right (Leaving the org)

pleaseresearch

When I speak to my mum about things, she says why do you keep looking on the internet and news etc... why don't you just live your life and forget what you learned growing up.

Maybe I was so so indoctrinated as a child that even though I have woken up and learnt ttatt, I still need to keep up to date with new findings from ex and fellow brothers and sisters. Listening to their testimony about why they left.

This was to me and all of you I'm sure, the truth. So to finally wake up is absolutely massive. That's why I keep digging and wanting to learn, to cement that leaving was the right thing to do. I know it was, that's clear, but being in "the truth" my mind was so closed.

freddo

I'm with you on this - seeking reassurance that I had it right (as in it's all false) in becoming "mentally out" is still good for me.

I reckon the thing that "did it" for me was the 1995 generation change. I didn't do anything then but looking back that was my "they just keep on moving the goalposts when they run out of time like they did in '75" moment.

It probably took me until about 2002/3 and going on the evil internet to realise something was really wrong and that there were others in the U.S./U.K/NZ/Aus/Canada etc. that felt and had similar experiences to me.

BBC's "Panorama" and the child abuse episode where in the UK they (the org) stopped the Watchtower half an hour early and read a letter of pathetic self-justification just accelerated the pace.

I was dumb enough to "try harder" thinking I could make a difference as an elder but then not long after I resigned.

I was quite vocal for a while but could feel the responses which made me realise that if I wanted to keep a relationship with family and friends I would have to work smart and play the long game.

This year has been better - what with jwborgtv, the ARC and "money grabbing" - and I have been more vocal again and this time I really don't care where it ends up.

I have one serving elder who I can say anything to, who is quite "in" but doesn't tell on me - an ex MS who laughs at the crazy antics of the gb with me and another ex MS who is very agitated at the way things are going and we can have very long discussions about how bad jw'ism has got.

Unfortunately my wife cannot let go - but on the upside she knows how I feel and doesn't tell on me either.

Slowly slowly ... but mentally it's great being free and has been for a few years now.

nicolaou

[Mum] says why do you keep looking on the internet and news etc... why don't you just live your life and forget what you learned growing up.

That would be convenient for your Mum I'm sure. She's protecting herself, trying to ensure some insulation exists between her and the information that 'corrupted' you.

It's also very dismissive of your childhood, as if all those years don't matter or count for anything. Hope this doesn't sound too harsh on your Mother pleaseresearch, mine is just the same . .

Clearview

Same here. Although I've been out for almost 9 years, I like to stick around here and keep up on things because my parents are still in, and some of the guilt of them thinking they're going to lose me "soon" is a bit of a cloud over my conscience sometimes. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does.
I'm waiting for the silver bullet of information that might wake my parents up. I don't have a lot to add so I mostly lurk here.
Part of me also wants to watch as this worthless cult crumbles to the ground.

Simon

It's good to de enough research that you can put your mind at ease that no, it's not possibly 'the truth' and you are not going to be caught going to the mall when Armageddon arrives.

Once you have been away from it for a more significant amount of time it does become surreal and like a dream (or a nightmare). You can't admit you ever even believed in that stuff. It's like going to your own primary school when you are an adult and everything seems so small and tiny and what was once the entirety of your entire world you now realize was just a couple of old rooms in serious need of renovation.

It get's better, it just takes time.

Vidiot

Simon - "...you are not going to be caught going to the mall when Armageddon arrives."

Nice.

That being said...

...I can think of worse places to be during the Apocalypse. :smirk: