GOODBYE my oldest and dearest (JW) FRIEND

by Terry 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • Terry
    Terry

    In my book, I Wept by the Rivers of Babylon, I described the process of having a friend, Johnny Santa Cruz, use our friendship as a platform for converting me to a Jehovah's Witness.

    That friendship cost me decades of my life in bondage to a cult.

    The friendship was real and Johnny and I bonded for life. But, the religion eventually turned him into a stone silence toward me--his oldest friend.

    Now he is dead and the imaginary reunion and meeting of the minds is no longer a possibility.

    This makes his passing a double tragedy.

    His memories were my memories. By dying he has extinguished part of my life's verifications. The bond we could have shared into our retirement years could have strengthened. Instead, they dissolved--aborted by cult pressure.

    I doubt I can get a family invitation to his funeral. It would certainly be disrespectful to attend without it. So, even in a final good-bye--I am shut out of both life and death.
    ++++++++++++++++++

    Johnny married when he was 20 and his wife was 16. He was rescuing her from her father. The dad was molesting his 2 daughters, you see, but the Brothers at the Kingdom Hall had advised the JW mother that Divorce was not the answer.

    I was at the wedding at the Justice of the Peace in a small Texas town. Johnny's sister, Judy, pretended to be the Mother granting permission.

    The marriage has lasted all these years, 1967 to 2016. He was very proud of that. His wife never graduated from High School, she dropped out. She never worked a paying job in her entire life. All her friends were JW's. It was the only life she ever knew and the only one imaginable.

    ________

    Johnny and I were friends from the age of 12. All of our early memories were the SAME memory.

    We called each other "Best best Buddy, lifelong pal." But that "lifelong" part was a dream.

    Johnny would always prod me with JW-related statements, provoking discussion about (presumably) the Bible.

    In my family, we were not religious people nor did we attend a church. I had respect--even reverence--but no emotional attachments to God or the good book. I was sort of a Nerdy intellectual kind of kid. So, we had lots of arguments--and I couldn't win those arguments even though I was using rational thinking and logic. Why?

    I didn't realize at that time, we were living in two different worlds entirely! A fancy word covers the situation: "Non-overlapping magisteria."
    The real world and the world of religious beliefs are different areas of inquiry, fact vs. values, so there is a difference between the "nets" over which they have "a legitimate magisterium or domain of teaching authority," and the two domains do not overlap.

    So, here it is folks--my life was about to take a sharp left turn simply because I needed to be on EQUAL footing with Johnny and the only way I could think of to do that was to LEARN his magisterium and master it.

    I would compare this to having a friend who is hooked on addictive drugs saying, "Just try it and see if you like it."

    One snort, one injection, one high was all it took and the next 2o years would be a roller coaster ride through hell.

    _______________

    Johnny is dead. He won't be joining his devout parents in Paradise in all likelihood. You see, he knew how so much of Jehovah's Witness teachings had unraveled not standing the test of time. He was very angry when the Awake! magazine dropped the "generations" blurb which had been his bellwether to Armageddon.
    He saw his belief system dismantled and reassembled like a Legos project.

    He was highly intelligent. But he was a profoundly loyal advocated, too.
    The arguments he and I shared never budged him off center--but they certainly rattled him to the core.

    Today I want to salute his long marriage and his unshakeable Faith.

    In the same breath, I want to shout to the world, "You were and always will be my friend--you stupid fool!"


    Johnny Santa Cruz--1947 to 2016 Rest in Peace my best, best Buddy. I wish you had remained a lifelong pal.

    I love you. I'm sorry you weren't allowed to love me back.


  • watson
    watson
    My heart goes out to you sir!
  • NVR2L8
    NVR2L8

    Terry,

    I read this sad story on your original post but I had no time to express my deepest sympathies to you. The saddest part though is that it seems the friendship was only one way - you towards him -at least for the last several years. For him the cult was more powerful than his friendship towards you. When you leave the cult you often get to experience for the first time what real, non-conditional friendship is. But while in the cult, this is impossible. After 50+ years I started reconnecting with family members and old friends who have greeted me with open arms, without resentment. I know you would have been there for him because that's what real friends do.

  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway
    Terry I'm really sorry for your loss. You won't get to go to his memorial but you know you're not missing much, it's just an hour long infomercial for the society. Your friend deserves better. I think you writing about him here is more personal and meaningful than any witness memorial ever was. And I hope it gives you some sense of closure.
  • SAHS
    SAHS

    Hi Terry. So sorry to hear about the loss of your longstanding and dear friend. True friendship and unconditional love transcend anything else, whether it be politics, religion, or any other kind of social institution. At least there is solace in knowing that such friendship will always be true to what it is, that is, completely unique and endearing on the most personal level. It is true love, the kind more profound than any promulgated by society’s mundane conformity, which defines a friendship and the parties thereof.

    Take care, Terry, and let’s celebrate life and all it entails one day at a time.

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