Taoism: Shit happens Hinduism: This Shit happend before Confucianism: Confucius say: Shit happens Buddhism: It is only an illusion of shit happening Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Islam: If shit happens it is the will of Allah Jehova's Witnesses: Knock, knock: Shit happens Atheism: There is no such thing as shit Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, and maybe it doesn't Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it Judaism: Why does shit always happen to me? Televangelism: Send money or shit will happen to you