How to shower like a woman

Brandy

How to Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along

the way, cover up any exposed areas.

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do

more sit-ups

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,

wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added

vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with

natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until

red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap

hair in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

These were sent to me by a EX dub lol

brandy

Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making the "Woo" sound.
Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs (no).
Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
Get in shower.
Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one.
Wash armpits.
Wash privates and the surrounding area.
Crack up at how loud farts sound in the shower.
Wash butt, leaving hair on soap.
NOW !!! Wash face.
Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner.
Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
Pee (in shower).
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole shower time.
Partially dry off.
Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of knob (again).
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor.
Leave bathroom light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "Yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her.
Put on yesterday's clothes.

SpannerintheWorks

Cripes, you guys are gonna suffer for that!

Spanner (Ducking!)

shamus

(snicker)

Sounds like a woman...

Special K

SIMON.... That cracked me up... My kids want to know what I'm roaring laughing about.

I had to make another check to see who wrote the one about the woman... I was thinking it might have been your wife...Haha....

Thanks.. for the laughter guys and gals.. SOOOOOO FUNNY!!

Special K

Maverick

With all the crap in those hair and skin care products it is no wonder the rain forests are being depleted at an alarming rate! And the chemical run off is poisoning our lakes and rivers. Why not just pour that junk in a salad and feed the needy! Maverick

SheilaM

Cover up cover up any exposed areas no WONDER we have sex so much <hitting forehead with palm of hand> that is the problem the nudity

El Kabong

Ain't it the truth!!!!!!!!

rocketman

Pee (in shower).

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George disclosed that he indeed would pee in the shower. When Elaine objected and was grossed out, George declared "it's all pipes!"

Blueblades

Simon!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JUST FINISHED MY DINNER,GREAT BELLY LAUGH FOR DIGESTION,IT'S SO TRUE ABOUT THE WOMAN AND THE MAN AND THE SHOWER.

Blueblades

How to shower like a woman

Share this