Something in the air this season...

babygirl30

I have had some ultra WEIRD exchanges with some existing JWs these past 2 months that have me caught off guard (which is rare for me) - but overall just odd.

1. I was out at a Happy Hour with some coworkers, and a woman whom I used to be friends with in another congregation came in with her husband.

Background: her kids, myself, and her best friends son - were all close friends! So we all were around this woman and her bff on a regular basis. In the meantime, this woman's husband cheated, left her and the kids, blah blab blah. She ends up meeting this non-JW man, dating and marrying him, and getting DF'd last I heard.

Recently: so she comes up to me at this Happy Hour and we hug and start chatting. She tells me that her bff had cut her completely off while she was DF'd, and how that hurt her. But that she decided to come back 'on her own terms'...meaning, she didn't make it about PEOPLE but made it about Jehovah. Um...ok?! Anyhow, she had no idea bout the violence I had experienced and how the elders treated me (since I was DF'd) and after telling her, she again went into this speech about how I should call her, she will always listen and talk to me - which I appreciate - but she continued to go into how coming back is so important, it's all about Jehovah and not the elders. In her words "f*&^ the elders...this is about you and Jehovah". My response to her was "why do I need to come back to the hall to fix my relationship with Jehovah? I'm confused...and also, I respect that you are doing things on your own terms, non JW husband and all, BUT...why should I live a lie, go back to something I don't believe, and be fake?" CRICKETS...

2. A guy that I used to be friends with and hung out with (a JW) posted a pic of he and his new gf on Facebook.

Background: after not seeing this guy for years, my fiance and I ran into him at a club one night, and in catching up with him, found out the he was married but separated, his wife was mental and abusive to him, and that he was inactive but majorly depressed because he could not get a scriptural divorce. We kept in touch after that, met up as friends a couple times, and he and his friends would come hang with my friends (all non-JWs). The LAST time we all got together, this guy was seeing and sexing it up with a non-JW woman that I know.

Recently: So this guy posts a pick of he and his new girl, I 'like' the pic and comment that I am happy for him. This guy sends me a PM and asks if I have changed my mind about going back to the org...and that he knows what I went through with my ex (who was an abusive JW) and that he is 100% sure Jehovah sees it all and is disgusted. He starts telling me that this new gf is a JW, and that they have been best friends for years - that she got him through his situation with his ex, and that he is happy now. My issue with this situation is - apparently this guy FORGETS that I know he couldn't get a scriptural divorce, I know that he was sleeping around, going out to the club, and seeing a woman I know specifically...yet all of a sudden, he now has a gf and is back to being a JW...out of nowhere...no consequences? No sanctions? No DF? But yet I should consider going back...really!

I guess what I am saying is that it never ceases to amaze me how easily these JWs FORGET their past actions. At least I live in my 'truth', I don't hide behind a double life. but these folks....smh...live in the damn dark! How hypocritical, as a so-called friend of mine, to have lived the ultimate worldly life, decided you want to go back, NEVER really own up to your own bull, and then try to encourage ME to return? Maybe I'm tired of people lying to themselves, because that is how it feels to me...like everyone is just living a lie.

stuckinarut2

Wow!

Amazing.

I know of a sister who was DF at least three times for sleeping around. Amazingly, She then BRINGS two of the guys into the society!

So despite her life choices and activity, she was always still firmly mentally trapped by the society, and kept being emotionally and physically drawn back.

The FOG (Fear Obligation and Guilt) was strong obviously!

scratchme1010

I guess what I am saying is that it never ceases to amaze me how easily these JWs FORGET their past actions.

Thank you for sharing this. It was a nice read. The part that I quoted caught my attention. I don't think that they just forget. Please understand that the the WT, as a controlling cult, does create a negative influence in people. There is something for those people still in it. One is obvious, a girlfriend. I have the feeling that the guy may not feel too adequate about himself getting lucky mating out in "the world". The structure and the apparent "shortcuts" that a congregation provides may make him compelled to get what he thinks he needs.

Another way of looking at it is as a type of battered woman syndrome. Just like people under abusive relationships for extended periods of time, they may become convinced that there's absolutely nothing for them outside of their little congregation. That's not happy way of living, but that syndrome is real and does happen in all kinds of abusive relationships, and that includes religious relationships.

The there's also just plain laziness. Some people prefer to have all the answers given to them, told how to live and have others make decisions for them. Pathetic, but true, it happens.

At the end of the day, we all live with the decisions we make. Pretending that "it's only about Jehovah", or that the scriptural marriage thing suddenly isn't valid to accommodate for somebody's purpose is not going to make their lives better, it's not going to make them righteous, and it's certainly not going to make their issues go away, not to mention that there's no talking snake, no paradise, no Jehovah. Some people get it, some don't.

Diogenesister

It always amazes me how people that happily belong to a religion that sanctions shunning get upset when *they* get shunned.

I get that the guy might have his reasons to stay shtum and go back - but to encourage *you* to go back when he patently cannot believe the bull himself...incredible.

DesirousOfChange

I think many JWs who get DFd are still 'believers', but they figure that they are just "not good enough" to live up to the standards -- particularly those who aren't able to remain 'chaste' while single, but once they find the right person and get married, then all of a sudden they are diehard JWs who toe the line and rebuke anyone who questions anything or doesn't live up to those standards.

Vidiot

Diogenesister - "It always amazes me how people that happily belong to a religion that sanctions shunning get upset when they get shunned."

That's 'cause hardcore loyalists - of any ideology - never imagine it could possibly happen to them.

freddo

Well these people have wonderful David as their given example of someone who Jehovah "loves" and "forgives" in a large way.

If the murdering, adulterating, census taking David gets a free pass then why can't they?

Vidiot

babygirl30 - "I have had some ultra weird exchanges with some existing JWs..."

These days, those're just regular run-of-the-mill JW exchanges... :smirk:

babygirl30

but once they find the right person and get married, then all of a sudden they are diehard JWs who toe the line and rebuke anyone who questions anything or doesn't live up to those standards.

That is exactly my point! When they were down and out...or in need of some sexual healing (hahaha) their choices were fine at the time. But now that they seem to have found what they want, and PERCEPTION has them looking like 'model JWs' because they are married/dating - they have the gall to become the judge and jury.

Something in the air this season...

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