Grief

by dogisgod 9 Replies latest jw experiences

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  dogisgod

  Having been raised in the troof I have no idea how to grieve. It seems to never leave. Time helps but it is so horrible for so long.
  
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  stillin

  Sorry, dog. One day at a time. Be kind to yourself!
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  Vanderhoven7

  Hi Dog,

  Perhaps some on this forum can help a little more if you give us a little background about your situation; things like, how long you have been out if you are physically out, whether you have family still in, what led to you discovering the truth about the org.
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  Finkelstein

  Answer, dont grieve be happy you found the truth
  
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  ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

  Sorry for you my friend. It is never too late to see the light My friend.Think about all those still in ,manipulated, naively belieivng the TRUTH AIR BUBBLE and wasting away their lives for nothing. At least you are out.Now "make things happen for you " which will have more meaning in your life, give you joy and satisfaction of doing so with the way you want your life to pan out from now on.

  The best thing you can do positively is move forward, dont look back.

  Most importantly we all are here for you to help you .Dont feel you are on your own. Share things as you see fit and we will be here to help you coz we are all in the same boat.

  Peace.
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  Wasanelder Once

  Grieve what? Death? Learning the truth about the Truth and the subsequent realization you've pissed away a lot of your life? Gotta be a little more specific. Thanks.
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  ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara

  There is beauty to be found in each precious day of life which is especially enhanced because YOU are enjoying it with a free mind.

  Change your thoughts and you change your world.

  I have tried it and it works.

  Peace
  
  
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  Xanthippe

  I had books by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross recommended to me, particularly On Death and Dying, although she has written many others concerning coping with grief. She is a Swiss-American psychiatrist who doesn't believe we ever get over losing a loved one but we learn to live with the loss.

  We have lost many loved ones in my family, my daughter had attended 15 funerals by the time she was twenty, including her father. I agree with you, grief is a long, hard process that nothing in the JW religion prepares you for. All I can say is the pain gets less awful as the years go by and you learn to carry on without them.

  The way I coped was walking in beautiful countryside, listening to music, confiding in friends and planning trips. You need to plan things to continue living, something for you to look forward to. I feel for you, take care.
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  Pete Zahut

  This is what I know about dealing with grief:

  • It's natural to grieve so don't fight it.
  • Instead of non stop grieving, set your grief aside and have a designated but limited time each day when you allow yourself to dwell on your grief.
  • During that time, write down your thoughts, ideas and plans so that they won't be rattling around in your head the rest of the day.
  • Expect 1 month of grieving for every year that you were involved with the subject of your grief.
  • Don't make any important life altering decisions while you're still grieving.
  • Don't put off doing the things you like/want or need to do until you feel better. Do these things anyway until you do feel better.
  • Have a list of 3 small things you want to accomplish for the day and congratulate yourself even if you only get one of those things done.
  • Remember your feelings come from thoughts you are having. You have control over your thoughts and emotions.Your feelings are only as real and as important as you decide to make them.
  • When it comes to grief, time will be your friend and your coping skills will be much stronger from then on and grief will not be quite as troublesome to you in the future.
    
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  RAISEDJW

  Dearest Dog,

  I am very sorry for your pain and know exactly how it feels. I grieve off and on over the years. I can’t understand how I found this site last night. I was on an article and it led to another and then here I am. But grateful I am not alone! Even though it’s been years...every part of my upbringing and belief system and idea about the world was from the Kingdom Hall. I am grateful to be away but still feel a deep loss. I miss my family, my congregation and the feeling of belonging. I feel it’s much harder for those raised from birth sometimes because it’s all we ever knew. I also feel that after leaving, I have never found my place in another community and feel isolated and alone most times. It’s not easy to heal. Everyone has a different experience. I have hope for you and all of us. There are many of us experiencing the same grief and wishing it would end. You are not alone! Leaving creates a huge, deep, painful hole in your soul that is often difficult to recover from. We all deal very differently with the grief process. Take care of yourself. No advice really just know that I truly care even if we don’t know each other.

  nicole