Her parents tried to stop her from going to college; now, she's a world-class oncologist
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Slidin Fast
Her parents tried to stop her from going to college; now, she's a world-class oncologist
Dr. Karen M. Winkfield, director of the Meharry-Vanderbilt Alliance, still feels the pain of being disowned by her Jehovah's Witness parents 33 years later
BRAD SCHMITT | Nashville Tennessean
When President Biden appointed her last month to the National Cancer Advisory Board, Dr. Karen M. Winkfield was thrilled — and really sad.
Winkfield wanted to share her joy with her husband, but he died three years ago.
And Winkfield wanted to celebrate with her parents, who are still alive — but they disowned her 33 years ago.
For going to college.
Her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses, a denomination that warns believers against secular college because non-believer professors and students "can erode thinking and convictions." Its leaders also say the world will be ending soon, and college is a waste of time that would be better used trying to convert people to save their souls, according to videos on the Jehovah's Witnesses website.
Dr. Karen Winkfield is a radiation oncologist, researcher, and executive director at Meharry-Vanderbilt Alliance in Nashville, President Biden appointed her to the National …Show more
STEPHANIE AMADOR / THE TENNESSEAN
Pew Research shows only 12 percent of Jehovah's Witnesses had college degrees in 2014, compared to a national average of about 30 percent.
When Winkfield decided to go to college, her father wrote a letter to her high school administrators saying he would disown her if she did so.
"It still hurts," Winkfield said through tears in her office on the Meharry Medical College campus. "I'm 50-something years old, and I still feel what I felt back then.
"And it's haunted me because I never fully felt like i could be my authentic self. I couldn't be who I felt like I was meant to be. I couldn't understand why a parent would cut someone off for that."
Winkfield said her parents essentially made good on their promise. She has only seen them a few dozen times since she graduated high school.
Her parents weren't there for her medical school graduation or her wedding or her daughter's high school or college graduations. (Her parents did show up for her college graduation weekend, but not the actual graduation, and her parents also visited her shortly after the birth of Winkfield's daughter.)
Even as a kid, though, the Jehovah's Witnesses proved to be challenging for Winkfield because the family first belonged to another denomination when she was a little girl.
No birthday party cupcakes
She grew up in a racially diverse part of Long Island, N.Y., but went to school with mostly rich, white kids. Before going to elementary school, Winkfield remembers birthday parties and big, fun holiday family celebrations.
That ended when she was 5 when her father declared it would be the family's last Christmas. Her mother decided to convert from Episcopalian to Jehovah's Witnesses, which meant some confusing changes for the kids — no more pagan holiday (like Halloween or birthdays), no more pledging allegiance to a flag instead of to God.
And no more hanging out with non-believers outside of school.
Dr. Karen M. Winkfield at her office on Meharry's campus: "There's still a part of me that simply just longs to hear my parents say, … Show more
STEPHANIE AMADOR / THE TENNESSEAN
"I very much lived two lives," Winkfield said. "We were all in on holidays and the hard stop.
"There were times where I’m sitting in the corner in first grade because I couldn't celebrate birthdays, and I always felt like I did something wrong, so that’s why I couldn’t have a cupcake," she said.
"I felt different, ostracized, and other. I’m already different enough, being Black in a predominantly Jewish school."
Still, Winkfield was both smart and competitive, and she was in the running to be valedictorian of her high school class when it dawned on her that she likely wouldn't go to college.
After all, her older siblings didn't. So senior year, Winkfield started cutting class and hanging out in the cafeteria. That's where one of her favorite teachers tracked her down one day and tapped her on the shoulder: Why aren't you in class?
"I started crying right away," Winkfield said. "I told her, what's the point? I'm not going to college anyway."
Dr. Karen M. Winkfield talks about how it feels to be disowned from her parents because of her decision to go to college, Tuesday, Oct. … Show more
STEPHANIE AMADOR / THE TENNESSEAN
That's when her teacher and kind, supportive guidance counselors pushed her, and they asked her dad for that letter explaining why he wouldn't sign signaling his consent for her college applications.
The letter — the one that said he would disown her if she went — was painful, but it proved to be helpful in having her declared independent.
She went to Binghampton University, then to Duke University for a combined medical school/Ph.D. program
By then, Winkfield was a single parent, and she learned how to ask for help. On the first day of medical school, she stood up in class, explained her situation and asked for classmates to sometimes be babysitters.
More than 30 of the 100+ students volunteered.
Winkfield met her husband, Jeff Walker, in a nondenominational church in North Carolina, and he loved her and supported her in her successful career as a radiation oncologist — until he got sick and died three years ago.
Her late husband is the first person she thought of when Winkfield got an email from the White House saying President Biden was considering her for an appointment.
She thought of her parents, too.
"It's funny. Despite the fact that I have colleagues and friends who offer congratulations," Winkfield said, "there's still a part of me that simply just longs to hear my parents say, oh my goodness, I'm so proud of you."
Reach Brad Schmitt at [email protected] or 615-259-8384 or on Twitter @bradschmitt.
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truth_b_known
"there's still a part of me that simply just longs to hear my parents say, oh my goodness, I'm so proud of you."
This is the part that tugs at the heartstrings the most. I am glad this brave person got on with her life. Her accomplishment should be applauded. Unfortunately all she wants is for her parents to acknowledge her achievement. It is highly unlikely to happen.