Title: The Ghost of Christmas Past
I remember the day Christmas ended for me, too young to know what that meant. A hole in my heart every holiday season is something I’d live to resent.
One day long ago I was six or so when dad explained it to me. New found faith and new found grace would replace our family tree.
I kept my head down with a smile and a frown as they played songs and spread holiday cheer. Inside I yearned to be like them and hold this holiday dear.
No presents for me, no eggnog or tree, no fond Christmases to remember. All these years just ducking my head and wishing it wasn’t December.
Many a time I’d walk down the street and see a beautiful tree through a window. The people inside were happy and warm and a kid playing with his new gizmo.
Now I’m grown up and no longer hold the faith that kept me from it. I’m trying to feel that holiday warmth despite my dysfunctional plummet.
So many years of feeling left out have left their mark on me. I want to be jolly and laugh and sing and see a lighted tree.
Awkward at first, I develop a thirst for eggnog and holiday laughter. Instead of a wound or a hole in my heart, it's a day I’ll cherish hereafter.
My feelings about Christmas-
Xoxoxo