Blood: When an Active JW is Health POA for non-JW

by JW_Researcher 6 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  JW_Researcher

  My mother has designated my sister as her ‘Designated Health Care Representative.’ My sister has sworn to my mother that, if my mother needs blood, my sister will not refuse it. There are no anticipated (key word) needs for blood at this time. My mother is in her early 80s.

  My mother has never been a JW but is very familiar with all aspects of JWdom and understands the risk of my sister not allowing blood if my mother needed it. My mother has mitigated this risk by securing my sister’s sworn promise that she will allow blood if it came to that.

  I mentioned to my mother that my sister’s promise is subject to change if she is pressured by the elders or whomever.

  To be clear, I am not suggesting that my sister NOT be the ‘Designated Health Care Representative.’ I just don’t believe that, promise to my mother notwithstanding, my sister will permit blood.

  Is anyone aware of a similar situation and, if so, with what outcome?

  Thank you.
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  road to nowhere

  50 years ago my wife let her dad have one. Her brother would have anyway as there was no living will. It made no difference except to prolong the inevitable 2 hours.

  It depends on how strong the belief is; look at the mess with fractions and how some hold strong to no blood, others go as far as they can. Youv know your sister so assess how " in" she is.
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  blondie

  We had that situation when a non-jw family needed a HC-POA representative. We suggested that she get a HC-POA done and make very clear that she wanted a blood transfusion. One jw relative helped her for everything else in that person's health decisions, but she and my non-jw relative sat down with the doctor/surgeon/anthesiologist and filed a document stating clearly what the non-jw relative wanted. So the day came, she was going into surgery and the hospital/doctors followed her wishes. I don't know how that would be handled by the medical community today, but it is worth checking out. (We made it clear to the medical people, there would be need for us to step in and make a decision for her.)
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  JW_Researcher

  Road to nowhere: My sister is "in," I believe. We don't speak of "spiritual matters" (hate to employ a BS phrase like that but you know what I mean). About five years ago her elder husband, who traveled overseas for work (and other things, evidently), left the organization and left her so.... she doubled-down and is, by all accounts, a very 'active' JW. My concern (well, really, my mother's concern) is that she will be bullied into disallowing blood.

  Blondie: Identical situation where the JW child is providing most of the 'health care.' At any rate, the ‘Designated Health Care Representative’ form is being revised to state explicit that blood (if necessary) is to be administered.

  Thank you both for the actual anecdotes.
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  blondie

  Thanks, JW_Researcher. Yes, it was a tricky situation and all the jw family members had to have a powwow so we would all be on the same page. Rules and laws, written and unwritten drives the WTS.
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  under the radar

  My adult son may be faced with such a sticky situation one day. He is his mother's (my ex) Designated Health Care Representative and will absolutely do whatever is necessary to make sure she has the best health care possible. She made him promise he would never authorize a blood transfusion for her. This puts him in an almost impossible position: either violate his mother's wishes and his promise to her, or risk losing his mother when she might be saved. I hope with all my being that this never arises.

  If it ever does arise, he risks being criticized either way. Certain relatives will say either (1) "You broke your solemn promise to your mother! How could you?" or (2) "You let your mother die! In a hurry for your inheritance?" Sheesh!

  All I can do is be there for him, come what may. I will support and defend him, no matter what he decides. I know his motives will be pure. That's all that counts.
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  under the radar

  Just in case anyone was wondering, my adult son was never baptized and is decidedly a non-JW. His mother is a devout PIMI JW, but trusts her son completely in all matters. She knows he loves her and can be counted on to always act in her best interest. She loves him very much, but has made it clear that J-Dawg and orders from his minions come first.