Hi
Can someone explain the difference between dating and courtship? How does it look like for a JW, is it always in groups? Is kissing allowed?
Also, do you tell the other you are dating or courting? So like ok now we are courting
Dating vs courtship
by Renee86 6 Replies latest social relationships
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MeanMrMustard
There are complicated rituals the couple goes through in order to transition from "dating" to "courting". The transition is called "kerbuckle" formally, and it can sometimes be used as a verb. To 'kerbuckle' requires the father of the female and potential male mate to shave their arm pits together while singing "My heart will go on" by Dion. The females gather around the males during this time and yodel loudly. When the hair has been shaved and a harmony is struck between the singing and yodeling, all parties yell 'KERBUCKLE!' and run away from each other as fast as possible in every direction. A few days later when they see each other again, the courtship will have officially started.
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BluesBrother
Take it seriously please !
Dating is the casual association alone with one of the opposite sex, just for the fun of it.
Courtship is if you are seriously seeking a wife/husband, whether you are yet serious about that person or not.
So young single dubs spend a lot of time in groups. That is not a date
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truth_b_known
For Jehovah's Witnesses to "go out on a date" is to officially state "We are spending time together for the purpose of deciding if we want to marry each other." There is no casual dating allowed within the Jehovah's Witnesses culture. It is all about marriage.
Jehovah's Witnesses are supposed to always have a chaperone whenever courting. Any physical displays of intimacy are frowned upon. The desire of Jehovah's Witnesses is that the first time a couple kisses is when the elder conducting the wedding ceremony says "You may kiss the bride."
Kerbuckling is more fun than JW dating.
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carla
Renee, it seems you have not researched this site or elsewhere regarding your current crush on a jw guy. In previous posts you seemed to indicate the person could already be married or have a girlfriend. If you have no moral issue with that I don't know what to tell you.
I will give you the short of being married to a jw and yes, there are many jw's married to non jw's and it causes all sorts of problems that you can't even imagine.
If you marry a jw are you willing to let the men in NY (the governing body -gb) and elders control the following in your life?
your sex life, what is and is not allowed in the marriage bed
no holidays
allow your children and loved ones to die from lack of blood
turn any children into school weirdo's- no flag salute, no sports, no band, no theater, no friends (they are worldly and bad associates) no extra curricular activities
your clothing choices (and yes that dress you want to wear above the knee is out of the question) by the way, if you wear thong underwear make sure nobody would even guess or you could be called into the back room for it. I have no idea why people in a church setting would be looking at your backside while they are supposed be thinking and learning about God but there you are, it has happened to some in the past.
your shoe choices as well (gotta watch out for toe cleavage)
be ready to change your beliefs about God & Bible at the drop of hat (new light or even blinking light)
are you willing to devote about 4 hours each and every Saturday & Sunday and 3-4 hours one week a night? as well as home study? (if you are a studying add another week night of about 3-4 hours as well until baptism)
are you ready to give up your non jw friends? you may keep some but you will become so damn judgmental that you will look at them differently and begin to spend less time with them. This goes for your non jw family as well.
If you are currently a pretty upbeat person are you ready to become a debbie downer instead? Life is not filled with love and joy, people are not generally good, the world is going to end soon anyway and good riddance is the general thought of every jw and you had better tow the line.
If you are a woman are you prepared to become a second class person within this so called religion? not only will you become a second class citizen within the religion but you will have to find the pecking order of the women already there, you may find yourself low woman on that totem pole
are you ready to lie to others for the sake of getting people to join this insidious cult?
don't forget the gb/elders also tell you what movies, books and other entertainment you can partake in. Don't like that idea, tough luck then you are a bad associate and weak spiritually.
Think Jesus is your Savior? think again, Jesus is only for the anointed and if you claim to be one of the anointed you probably have mental issues. You will probably be a rank and file and your job after the Big A will be to help clean up dead bodies that look like "cooked hot dogs" (according to a gb) yep, you get to clean up our dead bodies for what about 1000 years? I might have that a bit fuzzy with new light and all.
are you ready to sweep the pedophile issue rampant within the organization under the carpet? simply ignore it? if you know someone who's child has been molested/raped and try to warn others about the abuse you too may be shunned for doing so and possibly disfellowshipped for doing so.
are you ready to shun people at the kingdom hall and not even know why you are doing so? simply because the elders require you to do so?
If all this sounds like a good deal then by all means, go after your already spoken for fantasy of a man. Don't say people didn't warn you.
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TonusOH
That is an amazing list, carla. Goodness, I don't think I realized how bad the experience was until I saw it laid out like that.
And I hadn't heard the term "blinking light" used that way before, but it made me laugh out loud.
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MeanMrMustard
Take it seriously please !
Wait. What? You didn't have to do this?