Effective Communication

by iiz2cool 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  iiz2cool

  I was discussing this a little with someone earlier, and I wanted to get some opinions.

  As JW's, we were not supposed to associate with 'worldly' people, other than what was absolutely necessary. We conversed with them while out in the preaching work, but most of that discussion was of a pre-packaged sort. Our topics for conversation were found in the kindom ministry as were suggested presentations. We studdied publications before we offered them. We watched demonstrations on the platform. We relied on the 'Reasoning' book to help us in overcoming objections and potential 'conversation stoppers'. Conversations in the hall with other JW's were mostly superficial, or about a talk or article in the watchtower.

  Now that you are out of the BORG, do you find normal conversation with others difficult?

  Do you find yourselves using a speech pattern similar to that used in the society's publications?

  Do you find that being a JW has impaired your social skills?

  Do you find it difficult to open your mind to new ideas, or concepts?

  Do you sometimes find yourself at a loss for words when confronted with an unexpected question?

  Do you feel that your JW experience has affected your ability to progress in the workplace?

  I've experienced all of these at one time or another, to varying degrees, and it makes me wonder just how much of it is due to Watchtower mind control and its aftereffects. Also, does anyone have any suggestions on how to overcome it?

  Walter
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  minimus

  Let no one say I ask a lot of questions!......I have no problem talking to worldly people. I make friends with all types, even apostates. When I talk to people who were never in the truth, I just try to encourage them to understand things and give them a real hope for their everlasting future. Sometimes I counsel them so that they can be snatched out of the fire. I use theocratic tact at all times, seasoned with salt....As you can tell, no vestige of Watchtower is on me!
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  stillajwexelder

  Me personally -- no, no, no, no and no. When I was active in the truth I always maintained worldy friends, family and colleagues. I thought the field ministry helped me personally to be even more outgoing -- I never particularly enjoyed it and still do not -- but it forces me to get out and speak to people -- this has helped me in my career in being able to speak to customers. If I can sell the Watchtower I can sell anything. The theocratic ministry school helped me progress as a public speaker -- and all the talks about doing personal study helped me study -- other books etc. Being a witness helped me -- this board is just helping me even more- -being critical, analytical, open-minded -- I would sincerely recommend to any witness without fear of being struck down dead by Jehovah that they read Crisis of Conscience and The Gentile Times Reconsidered -- and there are other good books also -- The Epic og Gilgamesh being one. Will not say more - do not want to repeat myself from other posts
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  Gopher

  Great topic. I think there are a variety of after-JW experiences, depending on the person involved.

  Speaking for myself only...

  Do you find normal conversation with others difficult?

  I didn't even know what "normal conversation" really was. I just kind of had to hang back and listen. I still sometimes think, what topic could I raise that could possibly be of interest to the average person? Mostly I just try to get a person to talk about themselves and what interests them. If the conversation starts to focus on me, I get nervous.

  Do you find yourselves using a speech pattern similar to that used in the society's publications?

  I don't really know.

  Do you find that being a JW has impaired your social skills?

  Yes. I still feel awkward in group social settings. I don't know if I'll ever get over that feeling of "non-belonging".

  Do you find it difficult to open your mind to new ideas, or concepts?

  Yes, at least at first. I tend to stick to what I feel is true, although I'm now more open to the "live and let live" philosophy of not worrying too much when other's viewpoints are different.

  Do you sometimes find yourself at a loss for words when confronted with an unexpected question?

  That was an unexpected question! I don't know what to say!!

  But yes, I am afraid that I don't answer it "exactly right" that I'll be lying or something. So I stumble around and say half-baked stuff that probably doesn't make much sense, and probably infuriates the listener.

  Do you feel that your JW experience has affected your ability to progress in the workplace?

  Not really. I work in a technical type of job, with limited human interaction. So my introverted nature serves me well in my job.
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  RAYZORBLADE

  Interesting question

  Now that you are out of the BORG, do you find normal conversation with others difficult?

  Do you find yourselves using a speech pattern similar to that used in the society's publications?

  Do you find that being a JW has impaired your social skills?

  Do you find it difficult to open your mind to new ideas, or concepts?

  Do you sometimes find yourself at a loss for words when confronted with an unexpected question?

  Do you feel that your JW experience has affected your ability to progress in the workplace?

  I've been out of the Borg for nearly 20 years. I can have a normal conversation now.....but time has been on my side.

  The speech pattern, well, I think I used Witness terminologies to the complete unawareness of 'worldly' people. But that was a long time ago.

  When I was a JW, it most certainly turned me into a social retard, not being able to 'think outside of the box' as it were, thus rendering my ability to converse with 'worldly' people, inept.

  Freshly out of the organization, my thinking was still heavily engrained in JW doctrine. Post-JW, I still held on to these items, for a couple of years. (mid 1980s)

  I used to sputter and talk like Porky Pig when I was confronted with a question or concept, I was not used to. It was Witness thinking, speaking 24/7.

  Workplace, post-JW? Well, I was always industrious and a good worker , but nowadays, progress within the workplace, (which I have experienced) is great, and there's no guilt associated with it.

  Life post-JW, with many years on my side, have helped considerably. If there was a support network back in the early 80s, chances are, I may have healed quicker. This forum, speaks volumes with regards to validating, to any newly exited JW, that there are others just like them.....out there!

  Good question, as I have indicated above.
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  Frannie Banannie

  Yes....No.....Yes.....Yes......Yes......Yes

  Frannie B