DECEPTIVE JW ELDERS – CASE#4a
The following Case#4a through Case#4 (whatever), are a number of events that personally happened to me where JW Elders deceived or deliberately lied to me or members of my family. They are not necessarily written in order of events nor necessarily connected to one another, but they all had an impact on my decision to leave the organization:
In late January 1992 I traveled to Phoenix, Arizona on business. When I arrived, I phoned home to let everyone know the flight was good and landed safely. My wife and daughter got on the phone together because they had something important to tell me.
Elder A in our home congregation had approached my daughter in the ‘back room’ to counsel her about the impropriety of home-schooling and strongly urged her to attend public school. He said that the Society directs us to attend public school and not home schooling. He pointed out to her that the Society literature provided to young people in school deals with public school situations. He said that this was where she could more easily witness to other children and help them into the ‘Truth.’
She told him that she was home schooled due to a decision made between herself and her parents, and that he needed to speak to her dad about it before she could make any changes. He told her that his counsel as an Elder to her was sufficient, and that she was old enough (16 and not baptized) to abide by the directions of Jehovah’s Organization. She said that he had no plans to speak to me. I told her to stay in home schooling and if he mentioned it again that I demanded that he talk only to me.
He spoke to her again while I was out of town, telling her that other children needed her in public school because strong families need to support the weaker ones in school. He attempted to chum up to her by telling her that her "good example" in a mature family in the Truth with Dad serving and being of the Anointed carried special responsibilities. She did not fall for this ‘smooth-talker’ Elder’s ways, and told him exactly what I said. He gave no response, and that seemed to be the end of it.
When I returned a few days later, I asked my daughter about this again. She recounted the events again and added that Elder A said that several families in the congregation were ‘concerned’ and ‘stumbled’ and wanted to know why Bro. Amazing could send his children to home school, and not participate in public school as the Society instructed. I asked who these several families were, but she said they he did not say who they were.
When I arrived home, I called Elder A to find out what his problem is with my daughter being home schooled, and why he was talking to her while I am out of town and not talking to me as the ‘head’ of the family.
He said that several families were ‘concerned’ as he told my daughter and that he was trying his best to hold back the 'stumbling effect' until he could talk to me. I asked who the families were so that I could approach them via the principles in Matthew 18. He said it is ‘confidential’ at this time. I made the point that unless I know who these families are, I cannot treat this seriously as it is nothing more than rumor and hearsay.
He continued on by saying that several families are expressing ‘concern’ but that this is not the right ‘venue’ to deal with the issue. I asked what the right venue is? And then promptly said that I would call each and every family in the congregation until I found out who they are and get their side of the story for myself.
He then caved in and told me it was family B and C. I recoiled, ‘just two families out of a congregation of 40 families?’ I noted to him that these families both have children in home school and public school the same as I do. My daughter was home schooled and that my two sons were in public school. I explained the specific reasons for home schooling in this case, and how I was not going to change this arrangement.
I asked him how in the world families B and C could express ‘concern’ when they themselves had children home schooled? He said that when he was ‘counseling’ them, they cited my example as the basis to continue home schooling their children. I asked if they approached him first with a ‘concern’ or whether after he counseled them and then they cited my position as their defense. He said that he approached them at first and they used me as their defense.
So, I then asked Elder A why he deceived and lied to me and my daughter. He asked me how I could think that he lied. I said, “you told my daughter that several families expressed ‘concern’ about her being in home schooling, and you also stated that to me.” I continued, "The implication is that these families being several felt stumbled because home schooling violates the Society’s directions, and that you were trying to cope with this until you could talk to me. Now, you say that it is only two families who also have children in home school and that you approached them to ‘counsel’ them because it is really only YOU who have the concern.
He said that as an Elder it is his responsibility to look out for the spiritual interests of the congregation and that the truth is JW children should be in public school as directed by the Society. I asked him for any reference that states the Society so directs this. He could not cite any except to say that the School Brochure and other publications are designed to fortify children in public school. And, he said that I owe this to the congregation to keep my children in public school to support the weaker ones.
I said that as a father and the head of my family, he has absolutely no business talking to my children behind my back. He must and will in the future go through me. Second, simply because the Society published help for young people in public school is no basis to conclude that this is their ‘directive’ that ALL JW children attend public school. In fact the Society used to arrange for home schooling back in the 1940s when JW children were being kicked out for failing to salute the flag. Then, I cited some positive mention of home schooling found in the Society’s publications (though brief it is).
I told him that there is no congregational ‘concern’ by several families. Rather it is he who wants to obligate my family to conform to his wishes and make his counsel seem appropriate, and that I am not going to do. Furthermore, I said that if he lies again to me or my family I will proceed beyond Matthew 18 and let the Elders counsel him. He did not apologize or admit he lied. He only cited his prerogative as a Spiritual Shepherd to use whatever means he can to guide and direct the congregation. I responded by saying that lying is mimicking the Devil and is not a tool that Jehovah authorizes Christians to use. I then demanded that he stay away from me and my family unless he can come to terms with his deception and apologize.
I then called the two families (B and C) and asked them for their views. Both said that they never approached Elder A with any concern because they had none. Further, while they did cite me as an example in their own defense, it was because Elder A was placing a lot of pressure on them and they were caught off guard and not able to cite publication references very well. So they used my example and each other as examples. They both told me that they were going to continue to keep their children in home school regardless of what I do or what Elder A says.
The truth is, Elder A does not like home school, and he was angry that his position and authority were not being given weight and his ‘suggestions’ being given obedience. He was also very upset that I caught and confronted him with his deception and would not bend to him. This is among the issues that contributed to continued friction between myself and Elder A, and my eventual Disassociation. Stay tuned for Case#4b. - Amazing