Posted 3 months ago "After 15-17 years daughter coming for a visit". No word since.

by James Mixon 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  James Mixon

  The wife told me it was more like 20-22 years since I seen or talked to her.But since that visit we

  we have not spoke to one another, not a word. My family members (not JW) ask me have I called

  her, the door is open.

  I have reservation folks. JW's can be so fickle minded at times.

  First of all she told me my JW brother Elder told her she needs to see me, not her decision.

  I would hate to call and she told me, dad I only came by because my new husband and your brother encouraged

  me to do so.

  The most frighten part about all this when she walked in I thought she was my ex-wife, same fake smile,

  same speech, body movements it was weird. I know it's silly but my ex was a evil lady.

  The main reason I haven't call, if she say something stupid (I only came by because of the pressure),

  it will set off my anxiety problems. Over the years I have learned to control my PTSD and don't

  want that to start up again. I will give her another month and I will call and if she get weird on me,

  OH LORD I will go off..

  So what do you think friends????
• 

  flipper

  That's a tough one, James.

  My ex- jw stepson is a really kind hearted and honest person, intelligent and fun, who I totally trust and always enjoy his company. He's been out about 15 years. His 2 sisters are still jws and shun him and his dad (Flipper), except on rare unpredictable occasions. The jw's can be fickle for sure.

  I used to look forward to getting to know his sisters thinking they would be like him. Now after 10 years being married to Flipper and seeing so many examples of crazy (and rather mean) behavior from the jw family, I kind of dread having much to do with any of them.

  Flipper loves his daughters and misses them terribly - but I wonder what kind of people the cult has made them into. Would that change if they got out? I hope so - but I have learned to keep manipulative people out of my life after being traumatized by some pretty bad treatment years ago. Sometimes you have to be careful.

  There is always hope to rekindle a relationship, it's worth a try. But not if it's going to be destructive in the long run.

  Sure do wish you the best with this.
  
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  James Mixon

  Thanks Mrs flipper. Indeed a tough one "what kind of people the cult has made her",

  that's the key to rekindle the relationship....
• 

  The Searcher

  What a dilemma to face! Would writing an honest, heart-felt letter prepare the way for a conversation or a meeting? It may at least break the ice before you meet face to face. I wish you a peaceful result, whatever transpires.
  
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  slimboyfat

  Sorry for the situation. I think one of the cruelest aspects of JW shunning is that it's never clear cut. It's always a messy mixture of personal and WT policy, so that victims are left wondering where the WT policy stops and the personal dynamic begins. It messes with your head.
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  Chook

  It's interesting that it was those with JW power that recommended for her to visit. Because deep down they KNOW that this tearing apart families has no Christian origins .These hard arse bastards occasionally get soft and little bit of Norman human empathy gets through, till their next indoctrination lesson.
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  James Mixon

  The Search: around 10 years ago my daughter came out to visit her mom, they

  all (my four kids and family) vacation in Caribbean. My two girls are still JW's, the boys left

  we me. So I was happy the kids were together, they had a great time. Two months later my

  one son was schedule for a two day business meeting in her state, so he called her and told her he

  would love to meet her one day for lunch. She e-mailed him and told him he is not welcome.

  slimboyfat:Over the years(29) my JW family is so F--- up, they don't know if they are coming or going.

  Chook:Yes my brother and I wasn't raised JW's. Mom and Dad showed us unconditional love.
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  stan livedeath

  SBF--

  " It's always a messy mixture of personal and WT policy, "

  
  

  how very true--ive seen this in my own family. its all about control freakery.