YouTube advice on “Types of People to Avoid”

by LongHairGal 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  LongHairGal

  I was doing some heavy duty binge watching on YouTube.

  There are lots of helpful topics including ‘How to Declutter Your Home’, ‘Things You Shouldn’t Tell People’ and several videos on ‘types of people you shouldn’t have in your life as well as types of behavior you shouldn’t tolerate’ (especially after a certain age).

  What I got out of it (most I already knew but was nice to see it mentioned):.. First, you should live life authentically, especially at an older age. You should be free of other people’s opinions, judgments and expectations of you. You should be free of this as you have accumulated enough wisdom in life to know what serves you and that other people’s opinions do NOT define you; you should not be guilt tripped into doing favors or being exploited (financially or time wise) by anybody manipulative or irresponsible, etc… Walking away is not ‘selfishness’ but ‘self care’.

  It was mentioned in all of them to remove people from your life who are critical and fall into these negative categories whether they be family or other.. (The name of Jehovah’s Witnesses was nowhere mentioned - but I was struck by the fact that all these negative things appear in spades in the JW religion (and probably in some other religions as well).

  Watching all of this just reinforced what I knew for many years: ..the best thing I did was to ‘Fade’ from the religion and get out of that environment!
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  TonusOH

  Yes, the WTS approach turns people into judgmental and resentful busybodies. And it is not healthy to have that level of interest in another person's life unless they are someone very close to you. It is not a case of wanting those people around you to be better; it is usually a desire to gather another trophy for your wall. It can be a very stressful environment.

  I think that, in addition to getting to know yourself better, time and age let you understand the people around you better. You learn to identify attempts at manipulation and the kinds of people who try to manipulate you. You're less likely to be fooled by fakers. And --if you've taken care of yourself-- you are in a position to remove them from your life (or remove yourself from theirs, which is what I did with a lot of toxic relationships).
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  SydBarrett

  You should write without overuse of italics and unnecessary capitalization.
  
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  Vidqun

  LongHairGal, it boils down to removing toxic people from your life. Here's a list of their qualities. Surprise, surprise! The Witnesses as a group qualifies in all respects:

  
  
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  LongHairGal

  Thank you for your comments.

  The religion was not mentioned by name, but yet as a whole contains all of these undesirable traits of being toxic! A coincidence? ☺️
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  blondie

  I am on an ex-mormon discussion group now, and their comments about the church, mirror almost all said about the WTS. I feel right at home.
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  I quit!

  I think a big part of living your life authentically is learning learning to say no. Learning to say: No I don't believe that or no I don't believe that anymore. No I don't want to do that etc. It can make your life so much better in a lot of ways but it can also cause some people or groups to turn on you so you have to be prepared for that.
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  LongHairGal

  I QUIT:

  Most definitely you have to learn how to say No. This is essential and a person’s first line of defense. Of course, it can also pertain to things you do or don’t believe in any longer.

  But when people can’t say No, any boundaries they have will be gone. This is why cults and high control groups try to wear people down.. In the Witnesses, people who can’t say No are pushovers who end up exploited in every way and end up doing things they don’t want to do.

  Part of this trap of not saying ‘No’ has to do with wanting to be ‘viewed favorably’ by judgmental Users in the congregation👎.. I could not afford to concern myself with what these people thought because I had to work. So, I said ‘No’, and I did so with other nervy requests!

  People should practice saying ‘No’ in front of a mirror and then use it in real life.
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  Beth Sarim

  "No" is a complete sentence.

  Remember that.