by Blueblades 8 Replies latest social entertainment
How many of you have had to keep up the FACADE on the outside,while on the inside you were DYING?
The FACADE being putting on a happy face in front of the Elders and others while knowing what you know about the Society and all the harm it has done.
How long did you keep up this FACADE before it began to affect your well-being?
For me it lasted about a couple of years before I started to do the fade and have started to feel better.
Blueblades
I put it up for about 5 years, a couple as an elder and then as a reggie pub, until I became inactive. With all the demands of that religion, putting up a facade is very draining.
For a LONG time, but I didn't know that is what I was doing. My husband had been researching for several months about JWs and the pedophile issues, medical issues and doctrinal flip-flopping. But he never said a word to me. Finally, I started wondering what he was so absorbed in. I dragged it out of him, what he was reading. He was VERY reluctant to tell me, because even though he wasn't worried I would turn him in to the elders, he was concerned that I would disagree, and it would cause a rift.
Anyways, I started looking at the information, and within a couple of hours I knew I could never return to it. (JWism) My health had been suffering, lots of mild illness, mild bouts of depression. Once the decision was made, it was like a great weight lifted off.
Odrade
rocketman says I put it up for about 5 years, a couple as an elder and then as a reggie pub, until I became inactive. With all the demands of that religion, putting up a facade is very draining. I have been doing it for about 6 years now -- 2 of them as an elder - I keep going and putting on the facade -- very draining on emotions - no question.
Off and on for 6 years, but I didn't know that's what I was doing either. I thought if I just act like a JW, I would believe it on the inside but that never happened. The doubts persisted and never let up until I left. - V Sky
for along time, it was sssssssooooooooooo hard, probaly from the time I was 13 til I finally left at 20.
I'm not sure how long it was, but I remember I had a hard time staying awake for meetings. I started to miss bookstudy because that was on Sat morning and then we'd go out in service. Next Thursdays missing because of school. Most of the time I really tried to avoid the R&F because they just wondered what was wrong, why did I miss meetings. OH and how about all of those invitations to field service. I recall a really nice sister asking me to come and explain the "dates" to a bible study. Well, I thought I'd just bust at the seams over that. Hey Yeah I'll explain it! I'd have to say it took from 1992 until 1997. I just couldn't even fake affection when I knew how badly I wanted to tell my friends about "the False." So yeah it's hard. I don't know how still ...elder does it, I'd have a tough time .
I am still keeping the facade up. I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I wonder that myself sometimes.
I know I don't want to keep living in jw world for too much longer.
After escaping in my youth in '68, I put up the facade in '74-76 because I thought they 'might' be right. Since then I have been disinterested and am considered 'harmless' by the JWs.
I have now changed my view and am no longer merely disinterested, I am now convinced that I did the right thing by not getting baptised.
In the interests of family harmony (huge JW following here) I wonder if I am better off to stay 'harmless'....
....What do you think?
