What happened after they told you they were disfellowshipping you????

by BLISSISIGNORANCE 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  Here's my experience..................

  When the jc interrogated me for 4 1/2 hours I felt violated. When they couldn't decide what to do with me that night and said that I'ld have to meet with them again in 3 days, I knew I was going to be emotionaly violated again. When I met with them 3 days later and sat through what felt like another jc hearing, I was emotionaly violated again!

  What really rubbed salt in the wound (considering I was innocent of the charges) was that once they said I would be df'ed because that was what jehovah's spirit was directing, they asked for my blood card. Can you believe it? I was not allowed to carry the card anymore. Not that losing the card bothered me, but it was the unkind and unloving way they let me know I was no longer in the 'club'.

  They also told me and my husband that if something happened and I needed hospitalisation, they would not be there for me. Well, that could only speed up my recovery, I thought...............LOL. And that if I died while I was df'ed I could not have a JW funeral. Talk about twisting the knife in!!!!!!!!!!!!

  That all happened about 4 years ago but the memory is still there, alive and well. I am fortunate that I am a real fighter and can be quite strong and determined, not that I didn't suffer physically through all of it. But I have wondered how someone already feeling bad and low due to their sin, would cope with that kind of treatment? How could a vulnerable person with strict family shunning them, endure? The lack of love and empathy was outstanding and the feeling of abandonment was overwhelming. It could push someone over the edge.

  Well, after eating ALOT of humble pie served up by those elders, in the form of 3 attempts to be reinstated, I did go back. But guess what????????? They didn't return or replace my blood card for months. I had to ask for it. Shows how much quicker and enthusiastic they are about disciplining and making people feel down and out. How thorough they are with all the procedures when df'ing, yet neglectful when welcoming the lost sheep back.............not much like the father in the prodigal son illustration hey???????

  Just something I thought about today..................what was your experience with df'ing????????

  Cheers, Bliss
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  ozziepost

  This is probably the most inhumane aspect of the Borg. Yes, I know that there are frightful abuses prevalent too, but the whole DF procedure is an institutional thing, part of their official procedures. Just like with all such controllers, abuse results, just as Bliss has described.

  In the OT we read of executions being done by stoning, yet Jesus taught clearly that this was part of "the Old". The WTS however is still enacting the procedures of the OT. Interestingly, so much of their writings on judicial matters reference the OT.

  Cheers, Ozzie
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  Lady Lee

  Hi Bliss

  I empathisize. They took my card too as well as a book Organized to accomplish our ministry which I had bought and paid for.

  Seems they don't want some things in the hands of those they deem unworthy.

  And as for showing love to those who need to be shepherded - well they need to examine closely the story of the shepherd to went to search for the one lost one to bring it home
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  joelbear

  Two things I will never forget that followed my DFing. 1. I reached out to shake the hand goodbye of one of the brothers on my judicial committee. It was a reflex action on my part to let him know I had no hard feelings towards him personally. He said he could not shake my hand. I found that fascinating. 2. I returned for one last meeting at my hall before moving to Atlanta. Just wanted to see my friends faces one last time. I stilled loved them and still do. One brother who I had never been friendly with but one by no means an enemy came by and deliberating turned his head away from me as he passed. I found that fascinating as well. On each occasion, neither man could have known what was going on in my heart, only God did. I wonder how my decision process would have changed if in either of these situations a tiny spark of Christian love had been shown to me. I nor they will ever know.
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  orangefatcat

  I did not show up for any J.C. meetings, they are neither my jury or judge only God is. So I will my life leave up to God. I was never told when I was going to be disfellowshipped...In fact it was the last time I spoke to my righteous sister that she said I have only 7 days in which to speak to brother so and so and if not you are going to be disfellowshipped. Oh gee they have my sister as an envoy. A few days after I left my ex he contacted me also and said the same thing. Wow. Were the elders afraid to confront me or were they afraid I would speak my mind.

  I did recieve a formal letter from our overseer. He is a great guy, I know it came as a major shock to him and all in the congregation. It appears many just were in denial. But one has to do what one has to do to survive and to be true to oneself.

  I see many of my former friends from time to time, many have conversations with me others smile and say hello, some turn away. But that is up to them. Because I am well known from two provinces and when you are in the Org. for 38yr. you accumulate many friends. Many are not judgemental. But my whole family are holier then thou. and have never spoke to me since my difellowshipping.

  I just carried on my daily life, after they disfellowshipped me, I am not sure what day it was, but I was told it was in the first part of January 2000 only 1 1/2 are I left.

  I am very happy, married a wonderful man and have been blessed in alot of ways. How do I know if it was Gods way of directing out of the JW org. Everything has been well in my life since. I implored God for years sitting in a bathtub not wanting my ex husband to see me crying and pleading to show me what is the right way to go. Is their something else that can make me happy with out be miserable. I could not believe God wants us to be miserable. So being disfellowshipped is wonderful, I should have left the org. many years ago.

  Orangefatcat
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  Frannie Banannie

  It took the Gov. Potty six weeks to enforce a disf'ing against me, after I sent them MY reprooving letter (of them) ....meanwhile the week before my disf-ing, cong. elders, to whom I had given a copy of the letter I wrote to the G.B., "visited" me, and gave me hell for it, giving me really lame scriptural reasons why I was going to be disfd.....I wrote the elders a letter the week before my disf'ing and threw their stupid scriptures in their faces, embarrassing them so much, they were white-faced, red-faced and ashen the night they announced my disf'ing, while I sat front row and center with my head high to receive it. Even after I was disf'd, I carried on my scathing letter writing to the Gov. Potty and about them and along with the scriptural proofs of their unscriptural doctrines, sent letters to branch offices all over the world....I remained isolated from any and all friends and fam for about 7 yrs. till I found Ex-Jws online in 1999....7 years later after my dif'ing....so here I am....truckin' along...doin' that best I can....and makin' it....

  Frannie B
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  Francois

  It felt like the great weight of the ages had been lifted from my shoulders and I was a free man for the first time in my life.

  Frank