"Where Is Jehovah In All of This?" My Wife, July of '93

TMS

The title above is a question asked by my wife seemingly hundreds of times in 1993, the year our only child was disfellowshipped. The entire story exceeds the reasonable limits of this forum and I have to suppress the urge to write it. Instead, I will give little snippets, what a certain elder said at this or that point, how Jehovah's organization treated us, how we handled our gradual awakening to, yes, "the truth about the truth." Perhaps, as a JW or ex-JW, you will recognize some of the attitudes, approaches and policies we experienced, leading to our eventual freedom.

Judicial committees are typically formed during meetings of the elder body. The one involving our son and another young brother was no different, with one important exception. Immediately, after the elder's meeting adjourned, the judicial committee meeting commenced. Our son and the other young brother had been waiting in the wings, so to speak, for the elder's meeting to end. I was later told that things were orchestrated that way to prevent me, the boy's father, from "coaching" my son into displaying or faking 'acts befitting repentance."

This post is turning into exactly what I didn't want it to become. . I need to rethink this. It's difficult to simply blurt out situations without creating some context. . . . . . . . . . later

millie210

There is nothing that can rip your heart out faster than helplessly watching a young person man handled by a judicial committee.

When that young person is "your" young person, it becomes the biggest nightmare a parent can experience.

There are most definitely some of us here that will see ourselves in your words and your experience I am sure.

Your wifes question was very heartfelt and poignant to read.

GrreatTeacher

Eh, I was very sorry and it didn't seem to matter to the committee that disfellowshipped me.

Sometimes they have an agenda and they set out to make someone an example, regardless of their own rules and guidelines.

DesirousOfChange

Judicial Committees are, IMO, one of the greatest catalysts for any diehard JW to pack up and leave the Cult. While in the Cult they are constantly told of the LOVE there is among the brothers, and the earnest desire that Jehovah and the Elders have in saving every precious life and to re-adjust anyone who errs.

Then, a person screws up (like your kid who is inexperienced in life and is bound to make some mistakes) and they see 3 men whom they thought were kind and loving and sympathetic "friends" turn into "spiritual policemen" as well as the judge and jury. Often these self-righteous "losers in men" (in all other aspects of their life) crave and feed off of the power they feel over the sinner and their ability to wield punishment (aka discipline or reproof). They will ask questions that embarrass and humiliate (and gossip about it later like old wash-women). They will read scriptures that tell of bearing your sins before "Jehovah" and have them forgiven. With feelings of guilt and shame, they blab it all in an effort to feel "cleansed". The result? Disfellowhipped.

What happened to that "abandon the 99 sheep to save the one that is lost"? Forget that shit! At the recent KM Schools for Elders, the word has been put out NOT TO ERR ON THE SIDE OF MERCY. Don't get soft-hearted and allow sin to remain in the Congregation. Thus, many young and old alike, who make mistakes, sometime serious ones, are ousted from their Cong, their family, their friends, despite feeling regret or being "repentant".

The good thing about it? Many time not only the person DFd, but also their close family and friends that know them closely and know of their regret and repentance, see the travesty and lack of love. Many times they ALL leave the Cult as a result of the vicious Kangaroo Court. And.....hopefully go on to enjoy life!

Doc

Bud Stars

Spot on DesirousOfChange. Describes us perfectly.

Crazyguy

Nothing worse then a bunch of idiots judging you and that's what I found during my jc. The cobe even admitted he hadn't used his brain since he got baptized back in 1996 . Truly just stupid people didn't even know some of thier own doctrines and no clear thinking skills . One said he was on a website about blood and everything he was reading made sense but when he found out the website owner was a exjw he was out. Didn't matter that the information was correct. Thier indoctrinated into being fools , it's to bad really!

Dunedain

@ TMS - I think many of us here, can relate to your story, and the unfairness, and hypocrisy that probably occurred at your sons JC.

I went thru it myself. I was DF'd by3 IDIOTS, that I thought were supposed to be "loving, concerned, shepards".

Well a true "shepherd" would NEVER allow a member of its flock to be thrown to the "wolves", so to speak. If Elders are disfellowshipping someone, they are literally and spiritually throwing them out of the congregation, and in turn, into the world.

How does this make ANY sense? Shepherd boys to this day, were and are, experts at slinging stones, as they would CONSTANTLY whip them at any predatory animals that encroached upon their flock.

Would any sane shepherd, instead throw one of its sheep to those same predatory animals, simply because that sheep started to stray a bit from the flock, or lose its way?

The way Elders act in their indiscriminate, and arbitrary ways of disfellowshipping, it makes them spiritual MURDERERS, not shepherds.

The Elders are the SS soldiers of the JW CULT. They are the henchmen of a man made, diseased "religion", that worships 7 human beings from Brooklyn. The elders are the most "fanatical" of this CULT, which in turn makes them the MOST mentally brain washed of the organization.

If you truly believe you are appointed by "holy spirit", and have the "power" to "judge" fellow human beings, literally believing you can read hearts, yet with no more credentials than a child playing MAKE BELEIVE, then I am sorry, but you are a sick, and twisted person, blinded by your own delusions of grandeur.

When I was DF'd, I was a 20 year old child. If I was the 40 year old man I am now, it would have gone a lot different, and with black eyes, and bloody noses for everyone.

But, you know what the best revenge is, it is living a good and productive life. Since the days of my DF ing, I have become a self made millionaire with a beautiful family, completely free of the CULT, and living a wonderful life.

My life has even become the "talk" of the elders that DF'd me. Since word has spread to many in my ex congregation of how prosperous and fulfilling my life has become, it literally prompted the elders to mention it on the platform. These elders thought my life was going to be a "worldly mess", and I would come crawling back to them, begging for mercy. Nope, quite the opposite, and the elders had to do "damage control", and mention that "although SOME who have been DF'd may appear to be doing well, they truly cant be, because Jah isn't blessing them".

Ha the jokes on them. They ARE stuck in the brain washing, men worshipping, life controlling CULT, and I am free of all man made bondage, never to be controlled again, and LOVING every minute of it.