"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8, KJV
The scriptural principle above is not followed by Jehovah's Witnesses if a child's presence in the home is a threat to retaining congregation privileges. Even if God's so-called "word" calls for caring for one's family, it's more important for a JW to simply maintain the appearance, if not the reality, of "presiding over his household in a fine way," so as to keep serving as an elder.
My brother-in-law, after falling to get appointed as an elder for a number of years, finally got his wish about twenty years ago. It was a running joke, even among the non-JW side of the family that "R wants to be an elder so badly," as my Baptist mother-in-law used to say.
Once appointed, R's life became complicated by three children, all with bipolar symptoms. The kids, all good looking, athletic and intelligent, succumbed to the illness as they reached their twenties, now functioning with limited skill sets to live independently. Each child has presented a slightly different challenge to their elder father as he tries to maintain his image in the congregation as an elder meeting scriptural requirements (Watchtower rules).
The oldest child, now 32, was never baptized, despite an urgent bullrush by the local elders when he was 15.
"They told me that not getting baptized would not protect me at Armageddon, because Jehovah knew I had the knowledge to do the right thing and refused to act on that knowledge. I told them I would never submit to baptism because I didn't want to be disfellowshipped," the young man told me recently.
He was correct, of course, as his life since has been full of so-called disfellowshipping offenses, but his non-baptized state has given him family access. Recently released from prison, he went straight to his folks, who tried furiously to find other accommodations for him. Eventually, the young man found food and shelter with a cousin, who is also an ex-JW.
The second son, at 18 or so the apparent congregation role model on a fast track to Bethel, is now about 30, having paid dearly for his mistake of baptism, by being estranged from his family for a number of years. I visited with him at a food store a couple of years ago just before his second or third attempt at reinstatement. Proudly, he showed me his wrist, displaying a tattoo of the tetragrammaton.
"I'm going to show this to the elders to prove to them my devotion to Jehovah," he goofily told me at the time. He was eventually reinstated, despite the tattoo.
This boy's life has continued to spin wildly out of control, despite now being a JW "in good standing." He and his wife, the daughter of another local elder, live off of social security checks for mental disability, but supplement that income with con artistry, fake GoFund requests, stealing credit and debit card information, etc. Both are currently in Paris on vacation, despite having almost no income.
I've had little contact, in recent years, with the youngest child, a daughter, now in her late twenties. We've seen her once at an art gallery, arm in arm with her non-JW boyfriend, and once more at a club featuring live music. She did not make eye contact either time and we didn't approach. She lives in her own government-subsidized apartment, keeping her secret life separate from the family.
She, like her older brother, successfully resisted baptism, but has continued in school, now pursuing her doctorate, most likely in education. She's never held a job, although has done some non-paying work in fashion.
Because of her unusual beauty, she's traveled the world escorted by various men, so much so, that she gifted a recent vacation to her parents paid for by her frequent flier miles. She may also have used this to pay for her brother's trip to Paris. I don't know.
The daughter, still dependent on her parents in several ways, frequently attends meetings as an "interested person." even making an occasional comment. In comments made on a YouTube video, she describes herself as "leaning toward Buddhism." Because of her skill set in "playing the role" and never being baptized, she's free to navigate the JW scene as she sees fit.
Meanwhile, the elder and his wife, my brother and sister-in-law, live in their two story, "empty nest" home. The upstairs bedrooms are empty and the congregation privileges remain preserved. It's all about priorities.