DECEPTIVE JW ELDERS – CASE#4b
”But Jesus called them to him, and said, ‘You know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister (slave or servant) Matt 20:25-26
During my years as a JW, I saw a number of examples where JW Elders lorded over the rank and file members, but I had not directly experienced this, or given it much weight until the last two or three years of my transition out of the organization.
On one occasion, my wife and I traveled to another state, about 700 miles from home. While away, some JW teens got together to hold a high school graduation party for one of their JW friends. While at the party, my younger daughter made a tongue-n-cheek suggestion that they move the party to our house as the existing party was winding down. (My daughter was known for making such comments out of humor. She is an outgoing person with a lot of spirit and she is good looking too.)
The young JW man who was the person of ‘honor’ decided that my daughter's suggestion was a good idea. Whoops! (here enters the big sin). So, he gathered some things into his backpack including a ’R’ rated film. His friend at the party who also happened to be an MS observed him. This MS said nothing to discourage the momentum of the party 'relocation.' The MS, instead, waited a while until the existing party was fizzled out, and then went home.
The MS’s dad was an Elder in the congregation that shared our Kingdom Hall. The MS also had a brother serving at Bethel. They were a well-known and prominent family in the area. The MS proceeded to tell his dad about the big party forming at my house (Yikes!)
The young JW man (18), my daughter (17), and younger son (15) all went up to my house with movie in hand, including some left over snacks, and cola. Already at my house were my oldest daughter (21) and her husband (22) and my oldest son (19). My son and son-in-law pretty much monitored things and did not let the situation get out of hand. The movie was previously edited for TV, and the things that made it ’R’ rated were gone (awe shucks!). They started to watch the movie, but my son-in-law decided it was getting late, and asked the young JW man to head home. He did.
IN the meantime ... the MS went home and told his dad that a “bunch” of kids were moving a ‘big’ party to my house, and he was ‘concerned’ as this would have a stumbling effect or even worse yet, some might engage in fornication because he heard that there was a sleep-over. Double Yikes!
His Elder dad then called Elder T in our congregation and related this serious situation and how something needed to be done. Elder T, one of those ‘high-voltage-stare-in-his-eye-type-Elders’ who does everything to perfection, and no hair on his head out of place type of Brill Cream Elders, agreed that the situation was most serious. ---- DID any of these ‘concerned’ people think to call me, since I gave them my phone number before leaving? No, the excuse I got later was that they thought that California was in a different time zone than Oregon and were afraid I might be asleep!
So, Elder T calls my house and speaks with my oldest son and asks what is going on. Well, by this time my oldest son was leaving the organization, and joked about the situation just to tease Elder T (not a wise move, but nonetheless harmless enough if you know my son). This did not help. But he finally assured Elder T that all was well, and that there was no party going on.
Elder T then spoke to my son-in-law, and demanded to know what was ‘really’ going on. My son-in-law said that the young JW man arrived and stayed a while, started to watch the movie, but then left. Elder T was not satisfied and demanded that all people that are not immediate members of my household leave immediately. He ordered that there be no sleep-overs, no R-rated movies, and no alcohol. My son-in-law assured Elder T that all was under control and that nothing like any of that was going on, and that there was no one left there outside of immediate family.
I was never called about this. When I arrived home about a week later, I was told what happened. I called the young MS about it and asked why he reported this as a bad situation. The young MS said that it was not proper for such potential for fornication, R-rated movies and a bunch of young people to get together without adult supervision and staying all night long.
I reminded him that there were two adults over 21 in control at my house, that there was not a bunch of young people staying all night, watching R-rated movies, and that none of this was his business anyway. He said that the congregation has a right and duty to make sure that JWs are doing what is right even if this means reporting what is going on in someone’s house. He went on to say that the congregation and its Elders and MSs have such authority to control what is happening, even if it means stepping into someone’s house to clean out the problem!
Needless to say, I was HOT, and most vigorously disagreed, and said that the authority of JW Elders stops at my front door, in fact my property line, and actually, at the property line of the Kingdom Hall. NO ONE, not even in perceived cases of JW ‘probable cause’ has the right to demand that guests leave my home, or take any authoritative action. The young MS was shocked that I would make this claim and expressed outrage that one of the Anointed would not be submissive to Jehovah's organization. He then referred me to Elder T in our congregation for clarification.
I called Elder T and he confirmed what my children and the MS told me. I asked why he did not call me if he was so ‘concerned’. This is when he used the time zone excuse. I reminded him of basic geography and that we were all in the Pacific Daylight Time Zone. I said that it is beside the point, if he feels something is going wrong at my house, then he can and should call me anytime. He said no, that the Elders have the situation in hand and corrected it.
I then pointed out that there was no ’situation’ requiring correction and even if there were, he has no authority to act. I said that my son, daughter and son-in-law are old enough and responsible enough to take care of matters if a ‘situation’ were to arise. He gave up and referred me back to the MS who first made the ‘report.’
I called the MS back to try and find out why he made such a report when it was clear that nothing of the kind was taking place. Instead of admitting he acted with presumption and deceit, he handed the phone to his Elder dad.
Elder dad started in on me, saying that I was obstinate and merely rattling sabers, a troublemaker, and not appreciating Jehovah's arrangements. He went on and on about the impropriety of R-rated movies, unsupervised parties, young people sleeping together, and the authority of Elders to step in. (he sounded like a Watchtower magazine in blazing color. He ranted for about 20 minutes before I butted in and demanded some equal time. He said that he did not have to listen to me, and was not going to listen to anything I have to say. I told him to never come around our family again, and hung up on him.
I called the PO to complain about the turn of events. He said he heard something about it, but that his impression was that it was nothing, and that everyone forgot about it. I asked why then would Elder T call my house acting on the presumption and start demanding to know what is going on, demanding guests leave, and assuming that terrible things were taking place. He had no answer. I ended the call, and told my family that from here on out, they can hang up on these so-called Elders as I do not want to put up with this kind of intrusion into our lives.
Later on, the rumor mill begin to spread that my younger daughter was holding swinger parties for young JW people, R-rated movies, sleep-overs, and was setting a bad example. The rumors were traced back to the Elders.
The Deception?: ON the surface, the issue was more about confusion and presumption along with being righteous over much. The Society and its Elders teach that Elders are not to Lord it over the flock, or act as spiritual policemen. They are to guide and take the lead and above all be approachable and hear a matter out. They are to be slow to judgment and seek reconciliation and the betterment of their brothers.
In practice, the Elders do Lord it over the flock, act as policemen, and often are so prejudiced in their views that they even refuse to listen to the other side of an issue. The deception is that JWs are taught one thing, but quite another is really in operation.
Why is that?: If the Elders were being properly trained and supervised, and IF the Society really intended for them to be humble examples not lording it over the flock, then we would see more of that in action most of the time. As it is, the real pulse, the real mood and sentiment is that of drooling watch dogs just waiting for a chance to bite any member who even appears that they might be getting out of line. – Simply Amazing