Strange as it seems, the happiest day I remember of in my entire life as a Jehovah’s Witness happened on the opening day of a week long District Assembly in California when I was a young teenager. Three things came together that day to give me a short glimpse of authentic happiness. The first was that my parents decided I was old enough to give me just a tiny bit more freedom and allow me to sit where I wanted, to do volunteer work if I wanted, and even gave me a few dollars for meals. Like a slave suddenly given a reprieve, I immediately disappeared into the huge crowd of Witnesses and made a beeline to the nearest refreshment stand to buy a piece of cantaloupe with a scoop of ice cream (the second perk that day) followed by the best treat of all, the freedom to ignore the boring drivel coming from the stage for the rest of the day. JW life was all down hill from there.
In the twenty some odd years I’ve been free from the Witnesses, I certainly have far fewer days of negative events in my life. No more boring meetings for me, studying ideological crap, being forced to preach crap, preparing talks, having my life manipulated by the elders or the Society, and certainly no fears at all of getting murdered by the hateful and vengeful Jehovah. All this…and on the average, I’m not much happier than the day of freedom I described above.
Hey, my life isn’t bad, and I certainly know lots of ex-dubs a lot unhappier than myself, but why can’t I get a WHOLE lot happier in my life? I want to wake up in the morning with a million dollar smile, absolutely delighted to be alive, and spend my whole day like I was having one long continuous orgasm. Well, maybe that is a bit much, but I’ve seen and know people that are so damn happy it makes me sick from jealousy. Hell, I would be grateful just to have the weekends that way.
I’m not talking about getting high, drinking, laid, or eating some fantastic food. These are things that are transitory in your daily life and if you indulge in them too much you would be a drug addict, alcoholic, sex addict, or glutton. Rather, I’m making reference to your average level of happiness, the mean, how you describe your life in general. What is your happiness speedometer set on? 90 mph? I feel mine is only 20 mph and I want to drive through life a lot faster.
Well at this point I have some good news and bad news for you. You see, I’ve been doing a lot of reading and research on what it takes to be authentically happy. I was quite astonished to find that my own ideas on what made people happy were way off base. It seems that the new science of positive psychology is making a lot of heads turn and rethink what it takes to have lasting fulfillment and happiness in your life. I can tell you this right now; it sure isn’t something the Watchtower Society can give you!
Will making a lot of money make you happy? If not, just how much do you need?
Are people happier when they are married or not?
Can you be happy if you have poor health or even a terrible disease?
Does religion make people happier?
Will you be happier living in a warm climate or a cold climate?
Do material things make you happier?
How much difference is there between how happy people are in one country or another?
In my next post, I will share with you what I discovered about the myths of what makes you happy and share online links that allow you to briefly test how happy your life is compared to the population at large, and to test your potential for how happy you can be. In my final post, I will outline strategies tailored for ex-JW’s to realize their maximum potential for lasting happiness.
So, are you happier now than you were a dub? Why do you think that is?
Skipper