There's a brand new book out on Child sexual abuse: Childhood: It should not hurt! By Claire R. Reeves in the US
Claire asked me to write a chapter for her book. The chapter is called Letter From a Male Survivor
This is Claire's introduction to my chapter:
"In 1981, Donald D'Haene was one of the first Canadian men to not only initiate prosecution of his molester, but go public with his story. His memoir, Father's Touch, is the first book in the world to detail his experience with sexual abuse within a Jehovah's Witness family.
An Associate Reviewer for http://www.RebeccasReads.com, Donald just wrote, directed and starred in his first short comedy film, Viva Los Donald. Phat Puppy Productions has interpreted the first chapter of Father's Touch on film and in an original piece of music, while Toronto's Makin' Movies filmed a half-hour documentary of the story for Family Secrets on the W Network, directed by Genie-award-winning Maureen Judge."
It begins: To Other Male Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse:
.......
______________
Well, you know my story. I thought I'd post here my review of Claire's book:
We all know a victim of child abuse. Newspapers and television have put a face to this horrific experience. Yet I believe the media have also helped keep the victims of this growing tragedy silent with their extreme reporting.
How often have we witnessed the sensationalized account of Jon Benet Ramsey or the dispassionate reporting criticizing Elizabeth Smart for not leaving her kidnappers?
Is it any wonder most survivors are unrecognizable? They remain nameless, unseen but legion.
Claire R. Reeves new book, Childhood: It should not hurt! couldn't be more timely. There may be relief for victims yet. Reeves is a no-nonsense child advocate with decades of experience both in and outside the court system. When she shoots from the hip, people listen.
Consider this passage: "When a parent is abusive and neglectful from the time of birth, any and all consideration should be given only to the best interests of the child. The parent should be held accountable and encouraged to make life changes...Parental Rights need to be tempered by Children's Rights. ...Parents who abuse that privilege must be held accountable, even if that means losing their parental rights." (Page 7)
It's about time someone called it like it is. Readers will discover that same no-nonsense approach throughout her book.
Reeves book covers all the basic issues and questions regarding child abuse: What is sexual abuse? What are the signs and what treatments are available? But she also describes the quagmire of the court system, social service agencies that so often fail and drop the ball, male and female molesters, prevention, healing, and moving on.
One refreshing aspect of Reeve's writing is her clear, concise prose. Translation: you don't need a PHD to understand what she means! This book has been written for people it will help the most: you, me and every potential reader.
Over the past two decades I have read numerous books on child sexual abuse. Often, especially if the book takes on a memoir format, the author's message will involve some form of forgiveness of the perpetrator as she or he rides into the sunset 'happily ever after'.
How I wish it were that simplistic.
Unfortunately, the message that many 'Mother Teresa complex' self help books deliver look good in print but fail to provide victims, survivors and concerned citizens with concrete help and practical guidance.
Fortunately, that landscape has changed with the arrival of Claire Reeves' Childhood: It Should Not Hurt!
About the Author
Claire R. Reeves is a nationally recognized expert in incest and child sexual abuse. Reeves has testified as an expert witness in both civil and criminal court cases. In 1992 Reeves founded MOTHERS AGAINST SEXUAL ABUSE (MASA), a national non-profit organization dedicated to protecting children against sexual abuse. As she spearheaded MASA Reeves also set up programs to assist non-offending parents and guardians of children who had been sexually abused. Visit MASA's website www.againstsexualabuse.org to learn more.
Reviewer Bio
Visit the author's web site at www.fatherstouch.com
A short film is being produced [Phat Puppy Productions] based on the first chapter of Father's Touch. It will submitted to film festivals around the world. As well, this fall,
Check out Rebecca's review of Father's Touch in this site's archives.
Donald lives in , with his partner, Maurice, his mother, their three Siamese cats, Kyle, Bach-Pierre, Maxine and a cockatiel named Jay.