Need help...Did you shun a relative?

by alamb 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  alamb

  I need your help again guys. I need anyone with a story regarding shunning a parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, etc. to tell me their story.

  I have collected similar stories from around the globe in regards to how shunning has torn apart your family due to your being the victim of the shunning. Now I need the reverse side of things. This is VERY IMPORTANT AND URGENT. I can't disclose alot about it right now but promise to soon. Please e-mail me at [email protected] if you can help in any way or know of anyone who can. (example: I have a page written by a now adult ex-jw who is attempting to re-establish her relationship with her father who was never a JW but she had been forced to view him as worldly as a child)

  Please forward this to anyone you know.

  Thanks!

  p.s. Last time I put out the call, my mailbox was full for months. Thank you to those who came forward!
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  Elsewhere

  My family has shunned me since I DAed, however they would on occasion contact me to "check up on me"... they even invited me to my sisters wedding, but instructed not to talk to anyone and was booted out of the reception because they did not want to eat with me.(Kingdom Ministry August 2002)

  I eventually got sick of this "teasing" and have had nothing to do with them for quite some time. I will not take their pathetic calls anymore unless they agree to stop shunning me.
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  alamb

  That's what I'm looking for. Please write to me at the addy above and pass the word on. I will keep all in strictest confidence.

  (((((((((elsewhere))))))))))) you can eat at my house! I'm making chocolate cake!
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  myself

  I shunned, and I was shunned.

  I shunned my oldest and my youngest brothers. The oldest was df'd, the youngest was dis-associated for acting like a teenager. The oldest ended up behind me in a grocery store and made a joke to the cashier not to trust me, I glanced back at him and started to laugh. I stepped outside and waited so I could tell him I loved him, then I left.

  The youngest was finally given reprieve from his sentence and he came straigh to my house and we had a good cry together.

  I was df'd and shunned by my family that were still in the borg. (my two brothers mentioned were out). I went through surgery without even a call to see if I was ok by those who shunned me. I understood what I had done to my brothers, although I respected my borg family members for their beliefs, for once I felt that strongly about it too.

  My problem came as the shunning contined when I was reinstated, and not considered good enough because I failed to become very active in their religion after that.
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  Loris

  When I became a JW in 1965 my mother began a hate campaign against me. She is a Fundamentalist with a Pentacostal bent but she has not attended a church for many years. I have at times thought that she needed an excuse to show her hatred of me and I gave it to her by becoming a JW.

  I finally told her to never contact me again (we live on opposite sides of the country). Now I am struggling with do I or don't I tell her that I am no longer a JW. Would it make things alright between us or will I regret opening up too her? Will she gloat and say, "I told you so."?

  How does one un-shun a relative? Especially when such ugly mean things have been said.

  Loris
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  alamb

  That's a tough one.

  I would just get in touch casually and see what frame of mind she's in. That will give you the opportunity to disappear again or get reaquainted, depending on the state of things. Maybe she has had time to think and won't be so judgemental either way.
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  Winston Smith :>D

  Ya, I shunned family.

  Now that I have made it known to them that I am in the process of escaping the cult, they have freely welcomed me back, no questions asked.

  Winston.