Creative Circumvention of DF Rules

by TMS 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  TMS

  When an organization makes myriad rules regulating every aspect of living, fertile minds devise side-steps, technically non-violations. As with the complicated U.S. tax code, "loopholes" are found.

  Two cases in point most can identify with:

  1. No need to sit, if already standing, for a national
  anthem.(Milling around in the lobby till the anthem
  starts and then slowly finding your way to your seat.
  2. While not celebrating the innocuous Thanksgiving Day
  along with the "world", since everybody has that day
  off and birds are relatively inexpensive. . .

  So frequently Witnesses violate the spirit, but not the letter of the instructions/laws/commandments/orders from Jehovah's visible earthly organization.

  Now, let's consider some real life examples as to the way families deal with disfellowshipped adult family members in a way that does not sever the family ties, but does not provoke judicial heat on the "faithful" family members.

  Sister H shares a credit card with her 21 yr old DF'd daughter. Daily the daughter calls to update her mother about purchases, payments, etc. Once a week they meet at Red Lobster to discuss family finances, "necessary business" not in violation of DF rules.
  A few days before the payment is due a motherly reminder is appropriate.

  Brother P, an elder and medical doctor, has the means to set up his 20 year old son in an apartment, utilities paid. Of course, he must routinely check to see that the property is maintained according to the lease agreement he has signed. This arrangement allows him to maintain contact with his DF'd son without affecting his important service privileges in the congregation.

  Brother S, a long-time ministerial servant and prospective elder, uses his wife's business contacts to locate an unused garage apartment for his DF'd son for the whopping sum of $100 a month. This enables him to live outside the home with his $8 per hour job. Occasionally, the family drops off his younger sibling for a visit and later picks him up.

  All of the above genuine, faithful servants of Jehovah know that a DF'd "adult" child, not part of the immediate family circle is to be cut off from association. But their symbolic "heart" moves their agile mind to devise an end-around the directives of Jehovah's "Faithful Slave".

  TMS
• 

  Englishman

  TMS,

  Very insightful, thank you. Of course the R & F spend most of their lives wondering: Is this OK? Is that OK? Can I be DF'd for it? The sad part is that most dubs behaviour eventually comes down to "Can I be DF'd if I do this?"

  Phooey! What a way to live!

  Englishman.
• 

  esther

  TMS, you are so right when you say that genuine, faithful servants of Jehovah are trying to find a way around the directives of Jehovah's "Faithful Slave". It is against the natural love between family members, and hurts the ones who are faithful to the "Faithful Slave" as much as those who have offended the organization.

  Englishman, "The sad part is that most dubs behaviour eventually comes down to "Can I be DF'd if I do this?"" It is, sadly, very true that the poor deluded dubs spend so much time in fear of being considered unworthy by the WTBTS that they don't have time to consider whether or not God approves of the action

  esther
• 

  outnfree

  I have a JW friend who got around ignoring her DF'd sister by continuing to allow her to rent a room in her house. She was thus a TENANT and thus they could communicate (although naturally NOT about spiritual things!).

  outnfree
• 

  jschwehm

  Hi-

  I disassociated myself in 1996...I live in Nebraska. My JW parents live in Louisiana. I hardly ever hear from my parents unless someone is sick or they are mad at me about something or my sister makes them feel guilty enough to call. The last time I spoke with my father he was not sure if he should reveal to me that another one of my JW relatives was with child. I guess apostates are not allowed to know that information. The time before that, he scolded me for inviting my sister to my home to visit me during Christmas. I found out later that he offered my poor college student sister $300.00 if she would not come to visit me. Such love between family members can't you feel it? One time when my wife and I went down for a visit, my wife and I met with the family for dinner. There were JWs and non-JWs present. My father offered to let us stay at his home for one night. I thought my mother was going to jump out of her skin when he did that. I am sure that after we left she let him have it for even offering that.

  In contrast, my wife's parents who are JWs call my wife who left the JWs with me on a weekly basis. They visit at least once a year. But they keep our status with the organization on the Q.T. with individuals in their congregation so as not to create tension. They would love it if we would move closer to them (they live in Pennsylvania) but they know that it would make it more difficult for them due to JW influence for them to visit their daughter. Of course, I am of the opinion that they believe that my wife cannot think for herself and has been overly influenced by me-the evil one.
  They probably pray for us to break up (actually when we first got married they did almost everything they could to break us up.) so that my wife will become a JW again.

  Oh well, such love among JW family members.

  Jeff S.
• 

  esther

  outnfree, got to admit that not being able to communicate about spiritual things is a really good thing, especially for the df'd one. Just think, this prohibition is really doing a favour for the poor df'd and da'd ones. I should think that the society would really be upset if they realised that.

  esther