Okay, this embarassing experience was at work, and not the door ... but the effect was the same. I was working at the 300 Area on the Hanford Reservation near Richland, Washington ... I was working on the Fast Flux Test Facility ... or as one news reporter accidently put it, the Fast Fux Test Facility ... anyway, one of the fun nuke projects there at Hanford.
I had not gotten around to telling my co-workers that I was a JW. I was a little nervous to discuss my beliefs when new on a job ... sooooo ... the guys started a little tradition that each Monday one of the group would bring some cookies, or cake, or something good to snack on ... kind of a way to get to know one another ...
I decided that this was harmless fun ... and when my turn came up, I asked my wife to make a cake ... she made the best chocolate cake with rich green icing swirliing around with little goodies on top ... yummy ... I brought it to work, all proud of her work ... and presented the cake to the group ... everyone was pleased ... and plans were made for a big coffee break at 10 AM ... cake time.
About 8 AM the engineering manager strolled around ... he saw the cake and praised it as a great cake ... then proclaimed how thoughtful we were for remembering his BIRTHDAY! Yikes!!! Then someone said that Whitney's wife made it ... and the manager asked where I was ... I was ducking behind my desk ... I stood up ... he thanked me and said that was really thoughtful ... he said he would be back at 10 AM to have some cake with us. ...
As soon as he left several guys said that was great ... "Good thinking Whitney" ... then all the guys scrambled ... they got someone to head into Richland real fast to get a birthday card ... about an hour later the card was circulating around ... I was finally trapped at my desk ... looking at my work, trying to avoid the card ... then ...
One of the girls (good looking too) was heading to the back of the room to get me to sign the card ... just before she arrived at my desk, I tried to move under my desk, and caused my coffee to spill on my croch ... ouch! ... I was dumb-struck ... I am the guy who brings in the cake and now I can't sign the card ...
I stood up, and with coffee dripping from the middle of my legs, I said in a quivering stuttering voice ... I can't do that card thing ... I am a Jehovah's Witness.
Her mouth dropped ... the guys turned around in shock and awe ... one of them said, "Just sign the card Whitney, or we'll kick your ass." ... ahhhh grand ole persecution - JW style. I just hung my head in embarassment, and sat back down speechless. I think someone signed the card for me. I tried to explain my beliefs later on, but it sounded too dumb to myself to even try.
The birthday and cake went off real well ... everyone loved the cake ... and I went home with a big stain on the croch my nice slacks. It was one of those defining moments that has stuck with me for 26 years. There is no moral to the story ... except that the next time a birthday card is passed around, I will just sign the damn thing.