This REALLY made me laugh!

by nicolaou 9 Replies latest social humour

  • nicolaou
    nicolaou

    WHO WOULD BE A PROPERTY DEVELOPER?


    This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.
    A true story.


    Dear Sir,

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.

    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

    I hope this answers your inquiry.

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    LMAO!!! this deserves a

  • iiz2cool
    iiz2cool

    LMAO at work, and everyone thinks I've gone crazy!

    Walter

  • caligirl
    caligirl

    Oh my God! It always amazes me that there are people wandering the streets who lack even the barest minimum of common sense! After LMAO at this, I can only feel pity.

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    I would like to add, for those concerned, that after all that it took only three short months of good hospital care and I am now back in the states and healthy again. In need of a job however.

    JamesT

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    What was the brick layers name?? Wile E. Coyote?

  • calamityjane
    calamityjane

    ROFLMAO, and trying not to get caught at work.

  • Swan
    Swan

    Yes, this is very funny and it has been around at least since 1918 when it appeared in joke book. It is an urban legend. See www.snopes.com

  • talesin
    talesin

    This is too funny, nic

    Thanks for the laugh

    tal

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    <---wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. Swan, I smelled an urban legend. But what a funny one! oh my, oh my. Welcome back, James Thomas. Nice to see you again.

    welcome

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